Care To Dance?

For those that do not know me, I really am a shy person in the beginning. I get asked all the time why. I honestly do not know why. I used to hate being so shy. But looking back, I think it may have saved me from making some terrible decisions in the past. When we meet people for the first time, we all do the "getting to know you" dance. The standard, "How are you?'s and the "tell me about yourself"s. But when you are shy like me, that dance can either be very uncomfortable, which is most of the time, or very exciting when I meet someone who is just as nervous as I am. I thought I would give you a peek at what goes on inside my head, so if you ever find yourself meeting someone like me, you might be able to understand. At first there is the "Hello"s At this point I am okay, its just a hello. Next is the "How are you?"s Okay, If I say "I'm OK" will it seem too cliche' and sound uninterested or do I say something else and sound whiny? Next comes the "So tell me about yourself"s. By now the anxiety is super high! I never know what to say about myself. Not because I don't know myself, but because I feel everything I say is being judged. I generally tell the person at this point "Like what?" hoping they ask a more specific question. I do much better with specific questions like "Do you like...?" I am also so wrapped up in trying to figure out how to respond, I completely forget to ask the same, so it comes off as being a jerk or an ass. Then comes the part where I start kicking myself. If I haven't offended the person and they continue to talk to me this is when I try and get them to play the questions game. Talking turns asking questions and replying with the same. I do soooo much better than just answering open questions. Eventually we come to the awkward pause part. This is when I begin to get the giggles. I am not laughing at them or anything in particular, my anxiety just turns to laughter to release some of the pent up emotion. Then comes the self doubt. There is no way this person is interested in me. This leads to another awkward pause as I question myself and if this is really happening to me. If I have not lost the person's interest by now,  This is when it dawns on me, "OMG I forgot to ask him ......" so the flood of questions comes pouring out. Once the barrage of questions finally ends, my anxiety levels start dropping. But it never really goes away. I don't care if its the first meeting, first date, 10th date or what, shyness will always creep in. If I find a guy that dances with me and gets through all the steps, I know I have really found someone special. Once the shyness drops enough, I can spend HOURS talking to the right guy and not once get bored. My shyness then becomes an appetite, and I want to absorb all the information I can about him. And that is when the real dancing begins. The steps together, the back and forth, the dips and spins, getting closer and closer. So if you ever find yourself meeting someone who is quiet and aloof, do not assume they are not interested or a jerk, simply ask "Care to dance?" Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris