Friends or Fans

The distinction between a "friend" and a "fan" has become some blurred since the inception of Facebook. Almost immediately after launch, the phenomenon of racing to get more and more and more friends began. I admit, it confused me for quite a long time as to how or why anyone would have 500, 750, or even 1000 "friends" on a social site. The whole point of using such a site was to communicate in one location to all friends and family, but who seriously has that many people to keep connected too? Then it dawned on me. Bing! Light bulb moment. These people are not their friends, but fans. If you look closely, the ones with these crazy numbers of friends tend to be the ones with the most drama. The ones who are constantly complaining, throwing fits, or posting racy photos of themselves. These people are simply in it like watching a daytime talk show, or soap opera. They are simply in it for the drama. And the ones with these high numbers of Facebook friends, tend to be quite anti-social and so negative to be around, that in real life, they have no true friends, so they thrive on the attention of these spectators that are attracted to their bullshit like moths to a flame.So the next time you scratch your head wondering why the craziest people tend to have such high numbers, remember, it is merely the Jerry Springer effect. I can at least say, I know they people on my lists, I socialize regularly with them. And just like here, I love them all.

Burly Bear Chris

Uhm, Dude, Your Wife Is A Shrew!

So have you ever wanted to take your friend by the shoulders, shake the hell out of him screaming, "What the hell were you thinking? She's a shrew!" Well, I have such a friend. She is one of those people who thinks she needs to control everything and everyone. I feel terrible for this guy. She takes every opportunity to berate him in public, chastise him online, and nag him at home. She controls who he can and can not talk to. She degrade him and his family. Threatens him physically. Abuses him emotionally. Its like he is living an episode of Jerry Springer that will never end. How do you help a friend in that situation? I know, he is an adult and he needs to stand up for himself, that is a given. But how do you encourage him to be brave enough to do it without sounding like a total jerk? I feel bad for him. He is living in a modern age "Taming Of The Shrew" but, so far, in this version, the shrew remains untamed. How would you all go about offering help to your friend? Send me suggestions as I am honestly curious. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

The Roads Of Life

 

Imagine if your life were mapped out on a piece of paper. One long road across. Then add the roads of those around you. Some would cross briefly, a fixed point in time. Others would run along side of you. Spanning several miles. And sometimes, after running beside yours for a long time, they drift off, into a different direction. If we try to remain parallel to these roads, we lose sight of our own destination and ultimately come to a dead end. Its not easy to give up something, or someone. I know this quite well. But you have to ask yourself, "Is there truly a chance that this detour is temporary? Or do I continue on, allowing room for another road to come along side mine?" I am not just talking about partners or spouses. All relationships effect the direction we head in. I have had to make some decisions this year that were very difficult and even painful, but I had to in order for me to move forward. And even in one case, so he can move forward. Does this mean that when their roads are out of sight from mine I stop caring? No, completely the opposite. Once I love someone, they always have a permanent spot in my heart. I will always love them, and want the best for them, for us. Even if that best means that I need to step away. I have to fight the urge to go chasing their roads every day, but I know that doing so would be the wrong thing to do.I have been surprised in the past. Roads that had long parted ways have returned on their own accord many years later. And as great as that is, it would be foolish of me to expect it from each one. I should also point out, it is necessary to look at those roads around us and realize how special it is to have that time together. If we don't, the journey becomes quite lonely. So with that being said, I wish everyone a happy and safe journey along their own roads. I look forward to the days ours cross. Be it briefly or across the miles. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris