Top Ten Songs I Love To Hate

Everyone has them. Those songs that you just can not stand but the moment you one, it is stuck in your head forever! Yeah I have quite a few like that, so today I bring you: The Top Ten Songs I Love To Hate!

• 10. Nicki Minaj - Stupid Hoe

• 9. LMFAO - Sexy and I Know It

• 8. Friday - Rebecca Black - Official Music Video

• 7. Aqua - Barbie Girl

• 6.  The Gummy Bear Song

• 5.  The Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling

• 4.  Jennifer Lopez - On The Floor ft. Pitbull

• 3.  Adele - Rolling In The Deep

• 2.  Taylor Swift - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

And number 1.............

• 1.  PSY - GANGNAM STYLE (강남스타일) M/V

I am sure some of you will disagree with my list and, you know, that's okay. Everyone has their own style and tastes. What songs would appear on your top ten? Feel free to comment. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

The Social Butterfly

So just how social are you? I am simply amazed at how many social networks there are these days. What amazes me more are the numbers of people who seen to be able to juggle them all! I can't keep up! I have a twitter, I see less of it then I do my Dentist. Then there's Facebook, YouTube, Flicker, Biggercity, and on and on and on..... Whew! I am exhausted just trying to remember each one let alone my user names and passwords for each one. I don't know how anyone does it! Kudos to those that can. I have my standard go to's such as Facebook and of course, here, my blog that I see everyday. Then it seems I go in spurts. I will get addicted to YouTube for a while, then switch to Tumblr for a bit, then onto to the next. I really have no life to speak of either, so it is not a matter of having time, but rather patience. I am simply amazed at my friends that are busy people, working several hours a day, and yet they keep track of each and every one of their accounts. I wish I knew their secrets. I was talking with a friend about this envy and he said to consider myself lucky that most of these people are simply addicted to their social medias. I could see his point to some extent, but there has to be something they are getting from it in order to be addicted in the first place, no? I don't know if its healthy or not, I don't have any sort of medical degree, but I do think that it is a good thing that more then ever people are talking to other people. Granted in an Ideal situation it would be better to have the same connection with those closer such as neighbors, but isn't it good to have a net of friends that you connect with? Of like minded individuals who understand you? Maybe I am just hoping for the best in an idealistic approach to the social networking system, but that is just my opinion. I could go on about this, but I am sure you have other networks to get to. ;) What are your thoughts? Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

What A Waste

So I was reading an article about a study done at Cornell University researching "Gay-dar". Then I was reading all the naysayers condemning President Obama because this was wasted money under his watch. First of all, its easy as a gay male to say "Duh" when people talk about gay-dar. When you oppress a group of people, they are going to develop ways of picking each other out of a crowd. And I can see why research into this may prove viable in learning about human behavior and how it can be applied to other groups of people. It is unfortunate that people see the word "gay" in anything and suddenly they can not see past the ends of their noses. "Think outside the box" has become a mantra for our generation, yet most don't. Then secondly think back to the good ol' days of the Bush administration. (Yes, that was sarcasm.) Want to talk about waste of money on research? The Bush administration paid for a study conducted on nothing more then the flow rate of Ketchup. I am not making this up folks. You can Google it if you like. So you tell me. What is the bigger waste? I am so sick of the rats, following the pied pipers, who so quickly point fingers and shame, without knowing the facts. Anyway, that's it for today. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris.

Who Is On Your Pedestal?

Have you ever sat back and wondered why society puts actors and singers on such a pedestal? Why are they so worshiped? Why do we care so much about their daily lives? When it comes right down to it, they are merely employees who are good at their job. Their jobs are to entertain, good job, but why am I supposed to care who is calling who names? Or who is dating who? Their are far more people who do their jobs well, and by far work ten times as hard, that we could not survive without them doing their craft so well. We can live without a movie. We can live without and album. We can not live without Doctors, Nurses, Teachers, Firemen, Policemen, Soldiers, Farmers, Electricians, Construction Workers, etc etc. When was the last time you asked one of them for an autograph? What about your family? When was the last time you truly told, verbally said, "Thank you and I appreciate you?" I think as a society, we have truly lost focus on the important people in our lives. We are too caught up on frivolous stories about so called celebrities while in the mean time untold heroes are risking their lives. Our society knows more about Snookie then they know about how that food they are scarfing down came from or who put it there. I think its time we have a reality bitch slap, and no, I am not talking about reality TV. I am not saying that we should not enjoy our entertainment, let me make that perfectly clear. But before I go all crazy about an actor, I would rather go all crazy for the Barista who makes my latte. So think about who is on your pedestal. Remember that those on there are meant to be those that mean the most. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

In Need Of Comfort

Well all have those days when you just need that warm hug from the pantry. Whether it be suffering a cold, anger from a bad day, or feeling the blues, we all have a favorite dish or dishes that just make us feel better. It doesn't matter what the calories are. How much fat it has. All that matters it the feeling of comfort and love. Comfort foods tend to take us to a time of being pampered. A time when mom, dad, grams, etc, would know just the right thing to chase the yucky away. When ever I was sick as a child, my mom would get me a Western Bacon Cheeseburger, fries and a vanilla shake from Carl's Jr. I would dip my fries into the shake. Sounds gross, but boy, did it always make me feel better. As I got older, she would make my favorite meal for my birthday every year. Meatloaf, potato salad and cream corn. No one can make them they way she can. Trust me, I have tried and tried and can never get them just the way she does. When my grandmother was still with us, she would make stuffed cabbage rolls. She would call it pigs in a blanket, not to be confused with the biscuit wrapped hot dogs of the same name. As a kid I did not care for the cabbage and she would make a special on just for me sans blanket.  These are my comfort foods. Just thinking of them makes me feel warm and cozy on the inside. I recently had a cold and the first thing I did was take a trip to Carl's. No matter how old I get, when feeling bad, I revert to a childlike state and want these things to feel better. What are your comfort foods? Have you been able to recreate them? Leave a comment and let me know. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Its So Hard To Be This Beautiful

If I learned anything over the last year it is that it is so hard to be this beautiful. Now if you know me, you know I am taking a tongue in cheek approach to this post. There is a long list of adjectives I would use to describe myself, and beautiful is not on it. Having said that however, I fully understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I do not discredit that there are people out there that, fortunately for me, do find me attractive. To them I humbly say thank you. It should come as no surprise to you that there is a sub culture of people that find big people like myself as beautiful. This sub culture is often referred to as the Chub/Chaser community, but I do not particularly like that moniker. When I hear "Chub" I think of a tube of ground beef found at the supermarket and when I hear "Chaser" I think of a creeper stalking his prey. Hopefully as we evolve a new and better descriptive moniker will come, but for now, it is what it is. Now I am comfortable with who and what I am. I am a big hairy gay male. I am a Burly Bear. And I understand that there are guys out there that admire that about me. What I do not care for, however, are the guys that only see a big guys belly as a sex organ. No more then a piece of meat to get them off. That belly is attached to a human being. Someone with a brain. Someone with a heart. Someone with feelings. I understand the laws of attraction and I know that physical characteristics play a major role in them. But I am not a sex doll. I am not put here on this planet simply for your pleasure. I find it unfortunate that there are some guys that seek validation by allowing other guys to treat them as such. As well as woman who do the same. Its not the way to find someone who is going to treat you as an equal. They are not going to appreciate who you are, only what you are. I don't know how many times I have seen women post a picture of their cleavage all out there and whining why they can't find a guy who doesn't like them for more than sex. You reap what you sew. Let's face it. We are all sexual beings. It is a natural instinct we all share. And yes, there are times when we all get the urge to seek it out. But I am not fooling myself into thinking that the guy who asks if I will cam 2 cam with him in the first 5 minutes of meeting will ever want me for anything more. Its the one that spends the time getting to know me. The one that waits til the second or third time we chat to ask if we could Skype. And even when we do, its so we can see each others face, look into each others eyes and really get to know each other. That is when I know I have met someone who sees me as more then a belly. So for those reading this wondering why they have not found someone who wants them for the person they are, not the thing they are, ask yourself, "What am I putting out there?" Love To All!!

Burly Bear Chris.

Do You Believe In Magic?

I, like millions of others, woke up this morning and turned my attention to the Rose Parade. I was okay until the Disneyland float appeared. I teared up. Tears of pride. I am so full of pride for all Disney does. Tears of sadness. I miss being a part of that magic everyday. Tears of joy. It makes me happy that so many of my dear friends continue to make that magic.I know you are probably thinking I am just a sentimental fool. Well, that may be true. But unless you truly understand what Disney Magic means to me, you would not understand. So I will do my best to explain what Disney Magic means to me. I was fortunate enough to grow up with Disneyland so close. I don't think there was ever a year that we did not go at least once. I always said, "Someday, I am going to work here." So of course after high school, my sister and I applied. She got the job, I didn't. I was crushed. But as I have said before, everything happens for a reason. I got my first annual pass. I used that thing so much I practically lived there. (I can still remember the Party-Gras parade step for step) While working there my sister met her husband. She also became pregnant and gave birth to my first and beautiful niece. A few years later she was diagnosed with Autism. My sister left Disney to be a stay at home mom to raise my niece and her second child, my incredible nephew. My sister never lost her Disney spirit and this carried on with her children. As my niece grew older she developed a deep connection with all things Disney. For those who are not familiar with Autism, you can read about it here: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0002494/ , but for those who are, you know it is rare to see a reaction that brings them out of their shell, become so enthralled and happy. Witnessing this "Magic" of transformation coming from my niece drove me even harder then ever to be a part of that Disney magic. I was hired in at opening of the newly expanded resort into Downtown Disney Stores. Words can not describe how excited I was. The days were long. The shifts were tough.   I loved every minute of it. I did my best to bring laughter and happiness to the faces to all, and especially those of families with special needs. Unfortunately my knee could not keep up with my excitement and after several years, I had to leave my position there. Like my sister before me, I keep that Disney Spirit with me every day. I will never forget being a part of the magic that made my niece, and so many like her, so very happy. To look at the smile on her face and say to myself, "Wow, I did that!" is the best reward any job can give. So for those of you who think Disney Magic is a marketing gimmick, try looking through those special eyes of hers. And for my friends who get to continue in the traditions, I envy you, and never let the light that shines from you dim. Happy New Year. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

What The Hell Was I Thinking?

Well, it is finally here. The last day of the year. A day of looking back at the year gone by and ask ourselves, "What the hell was I thinking?" We have those moments where our judgment is clouded and we don't always make the best of decisions. Its seems silly to look back at them and ask ourselves why, but it is only through this exercise that we learn from those mistakes so we do not repeat them in the upcoming year. So what kinds of regrets will you be pondering today? A few of mine are: Not spending as much time with friends and family. I should make myself more available and accessible to them. Also I regret choosing the wrong Dr and setting back my knee recovery. I regret letting some friendships slip away and keeping a hold of ones that I shouldn't have. I regret not starting this blog sooner. And lastly, I regret not thanking those that help me enough. I am making a promise to myself to correct these decisions in the next year. Now looking back, there are a few things I did do right as well. Calling my mom whenever I got the chance. Even though she is across the country, she still is the best teacher, care giver and shoulder I can turn to. Taking a chance and putting myself out there in my blog as well as my personal life. The reception of both has been way more gracious than I could have expected. I am so glad I did not make an excuse and back out of my last date, and I am so glad he did not either. This is just a very condensed list for both, but I do not want to bore you with the small things, these are just the most important of them. What are some of your regrets? What are some of the things you are glad you did? Leave a comment explaining why. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Happy New Year?

Its that time of year again. The end of one year and the beginning of another. Several of us pick January 1st to begin many of the things we put off. We then justify this procrastination by calling them our "New Year's Resolutions." But honestly, how many of us keep to these resolutions? We choose the 1st like its some magical day and that if we choose to start changing our lives on that day, we can not fail! Bullshit. We are just a bunch of lazy people who put off what we can to the last minute. Lets be honest. When was the last time you made a resolution and actually kept it all year long? Lets not fool ourselves. I say if it is worth making a resolution for, then its ready to start the moment you think of it. Lets quit putting off to tomorrow what we can do today. So no more New Years Resolutions for me. When I want to make a change, I will make it then and there. How many of you have already chose theirs? Are you willing to do it now rather then wait 3 days? Leave me a message about what they are in when you will start. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

What Does Love Have To Do With It?

If you ask me, these are the three most over used words today. I Love You. These words seem to flow so easily from ones mouth without really understanding the meaning behind it. Maybe I am old fashioned, but these words are not meant to be taken lightly. When you say these words to someone, you are saying, "I know you. I respect you, I accept you for who you are. I devote myself to you. I have made room in my heart for you." Now I am not saying that these words can only be used for your partner, spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend. But also friends, family and anyone you can apply the meaning behind them to. Too many times I hear these words thrown out simply for the sake of obtaining something in return. Whether it me materialistic items like money, cars or homes, or more ethereal items such as admiration, lust or sex.  Each time you carelessly throw out these words, the less special it becomes. When you are with someone and you say these words without proper meaning, you scar that person more and more until they become calloused and jaded. When they hear these words from someone else, they can no longer trust that they mean anything more then "I'm horny" or "Buy me this". Now I know what you are thinking. "But aren't you the one that ends your blogs with Love to all?" Yes, yes I am. But I am not just throwing those out to hear myself say it, nor am I asking for anything in return. I am very in tuned with my feelings and I honestly care about each of you reading this.  I respect you, I accept you for who you are. I devote myself to you. I have made room in my heart for you. I want to be here for you. I want to help you and I want to share with you. I ask for nothing in return. That is why I can say in all honesty, Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris.

What An ASS..sumption

We are all guilty of it. We all make assumptions in our everyday life. We assume there is going to be a tomorrow. We assume we will have our job. We assume nothing will go wrong. Like these, some things are harmless assumptions. Its only when something tragic happens that these assumptions are wrong. There are, however, harmful ones as well. Ones that, right or wrong, will bring harm.  Assuming the guy with slurred speech and staggering is drunk.Turns out he is suffering a stroke. Assuming the girl with all the boyfriends is a slut. Turns out she has her heart broken every time she gets dumped because she won't have sex. All an assumption is, is an uneducated guess. We can limit the number of them we make simply by asking ourselves, "Do I have enough information to make this guess?" if we all took that split second it takes to challenge our thoughts, we can protect ourselves and others from an assumption that may forever more haunt the ones involved. Instead of assuming the guy is drunk, walk up and ask, "Are you okay?" If your first thought is that she is a slut, ask her, "Do you need help finding the right guy?" Its easier to assume because it means less action or interaction. And lets face it, we live in a society that believes less action is best action. So I challenge everyone to pick a week, any week. Tell yourself, "I will not assume anything." and take action. Look for answers. Sometimes, your first thought will be correct, but I bet you are amazed to find how many times its wrong. With that I leave you for tonight. Love to all!

Burly Bear Chris

Sorry, I Am Not Booked On That Guilt Trip.

I am so sick and tired of the constant bombardment of guilt we face each day these days. Everywhere we turn, someone or something is telling us we should feel guilty. First there is TV. Countess ads telling us we should feel guilt for not buying this, or not losing weight, or for enjoying a cigarette, or for not adopting all the animals, or for having this phone and not that phone. We can't even get on Facebook with being hit with post after post saying things like "98% of my friends will not repost this." or "If you really loved me you would post this for an hour." I am just so sick of it! I am to the point that the more guilt you try to lay on me, the more I am going to do the opposite just for principal. Those that know me, know whats in my heart. I don't need to repost a stupid meme for you to know I hate cancer, I love my family, I have the best friends, I support our military or whatever your cause is at the moment. If you really think I need to do that then you are not truly a friend and you should not be on my friends list to begin with.Guilt is especially strong this time of year. Guilt trips for giving someone a card and not another, for gifting someone something that is more expensive then someone else. For calling one and not another. Its enough to make one shut the doors and windows, throw out the TVs and computers and become a recluse. The crazy bear that no one sees. But I refuse to do that. I simply will ignore the guilt thrown at me and continue on. It is not that I don't care, I just feel we have more important things to worry about. Sorry for the rant tonight but it is just something I need to get off my chest. Thanks for listening. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

What Is This Feeling?

Loathing. Loathing is a weird emotion. One that it seems I have when I shouldn't, and not when I should. A little back story here. I have been hurt in the past my former partners. I won't go into details as to how at the moment, I would need their consent to do so. I will simply say that it was devastating each time. By all accounts I should have loathing for these men. But I am not wired that way. Once I love someone, they have a place in my heart forever. The love changes, yes. I do not see them as my lover. But I still want the best for them, and that they are happy. I just don't understand that if someone was important enough to let into your heart, how evicting them is possible. With all but one, I still speak to my exes, remain friends with them, and would consider each of them family. The one I do not speak to, I still wish him the best and hope to hear great things about. I know it confuses some guys I meet and unfortunately, due to the actions of a few, thoughts first run to, "Oh well you must still be having sex with each other." Absolutely not! I don't know where this notion that friends means "Friends With Benefits" came from, but no, I am not that guy. Maybe its because I grew up in a house and neighborhood where all my friends would come over and call my parents "mom" and "dad" and I did the same to theirs. Maybe that's why I am able to look at people as extensions of family so easily. I don't know for sure. All I know is if someone was worthy of me saying "I love you" to, then they are worthy of receiving love forever. Whether it is love as a partner, a friend, or family.
Now, onto the flip side. Who do I loath? Mostly perfect strangers. Those that hurt someone I love. Ones that take advantage of someone or something. Ones that abuse systems for personal gain at the expense of others. The person sitting behind me in the movie theater rustling through that noisy candy package all movie long. The people who live above me who stomp when they walk. The person with the car alarm that has to check every thirty minutes to see if its still set. the person who scowls when I say hello or smile at. And most of all, those who have replaced empathy with apathy. After saying that it seems rather hypocritical to end this way, but I mean it to you, the readers for I loath none of you. So, Love To All.

Burly Bear Chris

The Roads Of Life

 

Imagine if your life were mapped out on a piece of paper. One long road across. Then add the roads of those around you. Some would cross briefly, a fixed point in time. Others would run along side of you. Spanning several miles. And sometimes, after running beside yours for a long time, they drift off, into a different direction. If we try to remain parallel to these roads, we lose sight of our own destination and ultimately come to a dead end. Its not easy to give up something, or someone. I know this quite well. But you have to ask yourself, "Is there truly a chance that this detour is temporary? Or do I continue on, allowing room for another road to come along side mine?" I am not just talking about partners or spouses. All relationships effect the direction we head in. I have had to make some decisions this year that were very difficult and even painful, but I had to in order for me to move forward. And even in one case, so he can move forward. Does this mean that when their roads are out of sight from mine I stop caring? No, completely the opposite. Once I love someone, they always have a permanent spot in my heart. I will always love them, and want the best for them, for us. Even if that best means that I need to step away. I have to fight the urge to go chasing their roads every day, but I know that doing so would be the wrong thing to do.I have been surprised in the past. Roads that had long parted ways have returned on their own accord many years later. And as great as that is, it would be foolish of me to expect it from each one. I should also point out, it is necessary to look at those roads around us and realize how special it is to have that time together. If we don't, the journey becomes quite lonely. So with that being said, I wish everyone a happy and safe journey along their own roads. I look forward to the days ours cross. Be it briefly or across the miles. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

And Then There's Those Other Things...

If there had to be an anthem for my life, it would have to be "Cigarettes And Chocolate Milk" by Rufus Wainwright. Everything I find enjoyment in are so opposite of what is considered "normal" or "acceptable." From a good cigarette, to decadent foods, to..well.. those "other" things.  But as much as I get the feeling that society wishes me to oppress and abstain from those things, I proudly accept, and sometimes even flaunt, them. I was not always like that. For years I let those voices condemning my vices get in and turn my enjoyment and pleasure into guilt. Once I finally took a stand and said to myself, "No! I am not going to accept the guilt for this!", I found even greater enjoyment out of them. I was the same way with my partners. Suppressed my desires thinking it was more important to fulfill theirs. When I learned to express mine too, it made things that much better because it made it mutual rather then one sided. There are still those around me to tell me how "That is so bad for you." or "You are going to hell for that." But quite frankly, they are not telling me anything I had not already known. Yes, there are those that say these things simply out of caring and concern, and to them, I appreciate it. But a life lengthened by doing things hated, is a punishment, not enjoyment. Our time here is already short, so why spend it dreading what each day brings? As Rosalind Russell says in Auntie Mame, "Yes! Live! Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death! " I already have too many moments where I think back and say to myself, "I wish I had...", I don't need any more. So if I go out to eat with friends and they order a desert, why deprive myself because I am a big person and those around are going to think, "Like he needs that!"? What I do is none of their concern as their opinions are none of mine. If I am enjoying a smoke, I don't need some stranger telling me, "Smoking is bad for you", I know this, I can read the warning labels, thank you. And if I am with someone who really enjoys my size, and they want to pat my belly or give it a squeeze, I find it no different then two twinkies with their hands in each others pockets. So I say Enjoy life! Enjoy each other! And above all, find your happiness and don't let anyone tell you, you can't.

Burly Bear Chris

Sticks and Stones....

 We all know the old expression. Say it with me. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me." We have all said it, but do we really believe it? As children, we are taught this mantra as a way of getting over being called names or insults. So as we grow older, why do we suddenly forget this lesson and become hyper sensitive to certain words and not others? I have two different approaches to this topic.
The first is about replacement words. Like why is it okay to say "intercourse", "hump" and "sex", but not okay for "fuck"? Better yet, why is it okay to imply a so-called bad word, like "shoot" instead of "shit", or "dang" for "damn"? I know what you are all saying. Its because some words have stronger implications to them then others, or, because society has agreed that these words are bad. I think we forget that words themselves have no power. It is the person whose ears those words fall upon that give the words power. By shunning and restricting words, we give them that much more power. If we look back at some words from our past we can see the ridiculousness of giving some words the power we do. Poppycock! Poppycock literally translated means "soft dung" from Dutch, but the use of this as an expletive is strictly American from the mid 1800's. Polite people used balderdash instead.  How about "Bull!"? Also from the 1800's, Bull was a taboo word due to its association with sexual potency, polite people would use words or phrases like "gentlemen cow" or "seed ox". As the years marched on, people lost interest in these words, and thus they lost their power. Pretty funny to look at how uptight society was then, right?
The second approach is about slurs. Those words that are meant to purposely cast a negative light upon a specific person or group. These words not only are given power, but bite. These words get the same source of power, but what gives them their bite is intolerance. When we begin to think we are better then someone, what better way to demonstrate that then by taking that thing that makes them different and using it against them. Right? Well that is how slurs get their start, but it is not right. But we can still take the power away from these words. Turn the negative meant by them, own the meaning, and make it positive. For example, I'm gay. (I know, shocker, right?) I have been called every expletive imaginable for gay, like "Cock sucker", I simply say, "Yes I am, and damned good at it, your point was?" or "Fag", I say, "No thanks, I just finished my cigarette, but thanks for asking." And one more, "Pussy", I say, "Oh no, I don't touch the stuff, I like dick." The point is, don't give these words their power and you take away their bite. Anyway, I could go on forever on this, and this is a blog, not a book, so feel free to send me your thoughts, comments and questions on the subject.

Burly Bear Chris