Depression: The Do's And Don'ts

It is hard for those who have never suffered clinical depression to understand how things look so bad that one contemplates taking their own life. In a rational world, nothing seems that drastic and it becomes easy to throw around phrases like, "It will be okay." Or "It gets better." Although meant with well intentions, for someone suffering severe depression, these rational thoughts are foreign concepts. Many people who have never experienced depression on this level mistake depression for merely being unhappy or sad. Although these emotions go hand in hand with depression, there is much more to it than that. Clinical depression is a disorder that has many causes and possible onsets. For more on those you can check here. Let me try to put what it is like to experience depression into perspective. Imagine you are driving in a heavy rain. As the water comes down and makes it harder to see. The windshield fills with water drops and soon it is impossible to make out what lies ahead. Now imagine you are on a busy highway when this happens. Cars are passing you at high rates of speed. Drivers are behind you blaring their horns. You feel lost and helpless. You don't know what to do, do you speed up into the unknown, do you slow down and deal with the anger of those around you? You just want to pull over and stop, but you cannot. There is no place to do so. No imagine that every waking moment was this way. Now, I know what you are thinking. There are antidepressants and therapists to help. But when you are in this state, its like knowing there are windshield wipers but not knowing how to turn them on. You cannot simply apply rational thought to irrational thinking. So what do you do and what do you avoid? Well here is a list of both for either those who need help or those who know of someone who needs help.
What NOT to do.

• Isolation. Isolation only adds distance between the sufferer and happiness. It is common for the sufferer to isolate so others do not see what is going on, or to avoid situations that are high anxiety. 
• Listen to depressing music or watch depressing movies. It is common to seek out others that are feeling morose as well so that one does not feel so alone, but what ends up happening is that it becomes all that you see and harder to see positive things. 
• Place blame. Do not blame yourself or others for your depression. This leads to thinking such as, "I will show them.." 
• Eat the wrong things. Food and beverages high in sugar and caffeine can effect the way the body and mind handles stress.
• Stay in bed. Get out of the bed and into the shower. Taking care of your physical self will help your mental self.

What TO do.

• Talk to others about your depression in moderation. Too much talk will cause you to dwell on what is wrong and not what is right.
• Go outside. Sunshine is vital in physical as well as mental health.
• Set small goals. Set up a small task or goal like cleaning a closet or drawer. Accomplishments big or small will help build self worth.
• Acknowledgement. Acknowledge that depression distorts and darkens your perceptions, thinking, and judgment of yourself and the world around you.
• Reach out. Reach out to your friends and family. Tell them what you feel and be honest. They may not understand fully, but will have a better idea than not saying anything at all.

Like I said before, these are rational approaches to an irrational state of mind. The sufferer may or will not see the benefits of these at first. The number one thing to make perfectly clear with the sufferer is that NO life altering decisions should or will be made while in a depressive state. Also be optimistic, but not condescending. Avoid phrases like, "Well you are just depressed so you don't see things right." This just affirms that the sufferer is and always will be wrong. Say things more like. "I know you feel that way now, but lets revisit these things again in a few days and see if things change." This validates the feelings as well as affirms you have a continuing interest. There is much more to depression then meets the eye. A resource for finding more help for depression can be found here. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris