The Misconceptions Of Emotional Baggage

Anyone who tells you they have no emotional baggage is either in deep denial or an out and out liar. Everyone carries with them emotional scars. Granted some may run deeper then others, but from the time we are born we will experience events that will impact how we grow, how we evolve, how we learn and how we love. Each time we experience any form of emotion, the influences that bring on that emotion get stowed in that suitcase in our soul we call emotional baggage. As children we experience the warmness of praise or the coldness of scoldings. That is how we learn from right and wrong. As we get older, we experience more complicated emotions. Guilt, envy, love, lust, apathy and empathy. As we experience these we still subconsciously store those influences into our baggage. Somewhere along our development, we are taught that its best to keep the lid shut tight on them. This is especially true with men. "The man is supposed to be strong, emotionless and in control at all times!" This in itself is even more emotional baggage! In men and women alike, sometimes one just can not simply close the lid anymore. Our bags just get so full that we can no longer just tuck them away. This does not make the person bad, or weak. It simply means they have experienced things others may never be able to imagine. Sometimes all it takes is someone to sit next to them, and be there, as they re organize and repack their life. Far to often I hear others say, "It did not work out because he/she had just way too much baggage." And far too often I hear others reply back, "Who needs that, you are better off without him/her." If you really listen to what is being said, you can see why it upsets me. The first person has simply found a way of saying, "It didn't work out because I couldn't care less about getting to know the other person.", that doesn't make him sound like an ass that he is. And when I see profiles that read, "Looking for someone with no baggage." what it really means is that, "I have so much baggage of my own that I won't deal with, I have no room for yours." I am not saying you have to accept everyone and the baggage they carry with them. It is okay to say that the way the handle their baggage is something you don't agree with. Just be honest with the other person and yourself. So what is your opinion on emotional baggage? Drop me a note and let me know. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris