What The Hell Was I Thinking?

Well, it is finally here. The last day of the year. A day of looking back at the year gone by and ask ourselves, "What the hell was I thinking?" We have those moments where our judgment is clouded and we don't always make the best of decisions. Its seems silly to look back at them and ask ourselves why, but it is only through this exercise that we learn from those mistakes so we do not repeat them in the upcoming year. So what kinds of regrets will you be pondering today? A few of mine are: Not spending as much time with friends and family. I should make myself more available and accessible to them. Also I regret choosing the wrong Dr and setting back my knee recovery. I regret letting some friendships slip away and keeping a hold of ones that I shouldn't have. I regret not starting this blog sooner. And lastly, I regret not thanking those that help me enough. I am making a promise to myself to correct these decisions in the next year. Now looking back, there are a few things I did do right as well. Calling my mom whenever I got the chance. Even though she is across the country, she still is the best teacher, care giver and shoulder I can turn to. Taking a chance and putting myself out there in my blog as well as my personal life. The reception of both has been way more gracious than I could have expected. I am so glad I did not make an excuse and back out of my last date, and I am so glad he did not either. This is just a very condensed list for both, but I do not want to bore you with the small things, these are just the most important of them. What are some of your regrets? What are some of the things you are glad you did? Leave a comment explaining why. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Care To Dance?

For those that do not know me, I really am a shy person in the beginning. I get asked all the time why. I honestly do not know why. I used to hate being so shy. But looking back, I think it may have saved me from making some terrible decisions in the past. When we meet people for the first time, we all do the "getting to know you" dance. The standard, "How are you?'s and the "tell me about yourself"s. But when you are shy like me, that dance can either be very uncomfortable, which is most of the time, or very exciting when I meet someone who is just as nervous as I am. I thought I would give you a peek at what goes on inside my head, so if you ever find yourself meeting someone like me, you might be able to understand. At first there is the "Hello"s At this point I am okay, its just a hello. Next is the "How are you?"s Okay, If I say "I'm OK" will it seem too cliche' and sound uninterested or do I say something else and sound whiny? Next comes the "So tell me about yourself"s. By now the anxiety is super high! I never know what to say about myself. Not because I don't know myself, but because I feel everything I say is being judged. I generally tell the person at this point "Like what?" hoping they ask a more specific question. I do much better with specific questions like "Do you like...?" I am also so wrapped up in trying to figure out how to respond, I completely forget to ask the same, so it comes off as being a jerk or an ass. Then comes the part where I start kicking myself. If I haven't offended the person and they continue to talk to me this is when I try and get them to play the questions game. Talking turns asking questions and replying with the same. I do soooo much better than just answering open questions. Eventually we come to the awkward pause part. This is when I begin to get the giggles. I am not laughing at them or anything in particular, my anxiety just turns to laughter to release some of the pent up emotion. Then comes the self doubt. There is no way this person is interested in me. This leads to another awkward pause as I question myself and if this is really happening to me. If I have not lost the person's interest by now,  This is when it dawns on me, "OMG I forgot to ask him ......" so the flood of questions comes pouring out. Once the barrage of questions finally ends, my anxiety levels start dropping. But it never really goes away. I don't care if its the first meeting, first date, 10th date or what, shyness will always creep in. If I find a guy that dances with me and gets through all the steps, I know I have really found someone special. Once the shyness drops enough, I can spend HOURS talking to the right guy and not once get bored. My shyness then becomes an appetite, and I want to absorb all the information I can about him. And that is when the real dancing begins. The steps together, the back and forth, the dips and spins, getting closer and closer. So if you ever find yourself meeting someone who is quiet and aloof, do not assume they are not interested or a jerk, simply ask "Care to dance?" Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Happy New Year?

Its that time of year again. The end of one year and the beginning of another. Several of us pick January 1st to begin many of the things we put off. We then justify this procrastination by calling them our "New Year's Resolutions." But honestly, how many of us keep to these resolutions? We choose the 1st like its some magical day and that if we choose to start changing our lives on that day, we can not fail! Bullshit. We are just a bunch of lazy people who put off what we can to the last minute. Lets be honest. When was the last time you made a resolution and actually kept it all year long? Lets not fool ourselves. I say if it is worth making a resolution for, then its ready to start the moment you think of it. Lets quit putting off to tomorrow what we can do today. So no more New Years Resolutions for me. When I want to make a change, I will make it then and there. How many of you have already chose theirs? Are you willing to do it now rather then wait 3 days? Leave me a message about what they are in when you will start. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

What Does Love Have To Do With It?

If you ask me, these are the three most over used words today. I Love You. These words seem to flow so easily from ones mouth without really understanding the meaning behind it. Maybe I am old fashioned, but these words are not meant to be taken lightly. When you say these words to someone, you are saying, "I know you. I respect you, I accept you for who you are. I devote myself to you. I have made room in my heart for you." Now I am not saying that these words can only be used for your partner, spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend. But also friends, family and anyone you can apply the meaning behind them to. Too many times I hear these words thrown out simply for the sake of obtaining something in return. Whether it me materialistic items like money, cars or homes, or more ethereal items such as admiration, lust or sex.  Each time you carelessly throw out these words, the less special it becomes. When you are with someone and you say these words without proper meaning, you scar that person more and more until they become calloused and jaded. When they hear these words from someone else, they can no longer trust that they mean anything more then "I'm horny" or "Buy me this". Now I know what you are thinking. "But aren't you the one that ends your blogs with Love to all?" Yes, yes I am. But I am not just throwing those out to hear myself say it, nor am I asking for anything in return. I am very in tuned with my feelings and I honestly care about each of you reading this.  I respect you, I accept you for who you are. I devote myself to you. I have made room in my heart for you. I want to be here for you. I want to help you and I want to share with you. I ask for nothing in return. That is why I can say in all honesty, Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris.

I Remember When....

I remember when:

• The streetlights coming on meant it was time to go home.
• Gas was under $1 per Gal.
• Sundays were Grandma days, visiting her, and seeing what she was baking that time.
• It was safe as a 10 year old to walk several blocks by myself to 7-11.
• Telling stories at the bus stop with the other kids heading to school.
• Looking forward to September. Not for school to start but to get the new clothes.
• I had to have PeeChee folders.
• Swatches were cool.
• Thinking 30 was "old".
• Playing baseball in the street.
• Riding bikes without helmets.
• Fighting over "the hump" in the back seat.
• Gumballs were a penny.
• Payphones were a dime.
• Looking something up involved getting a book.
• Black and white TVs and Rabbit Ears were options.
• I had to be in bed by 8.
• You could record a song from the radio onto a cassette, and no one cared.
• I had my first crush.
• I had my first heartbreak.
• I had my first kiss.
• I thought 80's fashion was so hot.
• I had to memorize the "Tomorrow, Tomorrow, Tomorrow" speech from Macbeth.(and can still recite it)
• Leaded gas.

These are just a few of many many things I remember. This is an open ended blog so please, feel free to add to the list. Love to all

Burly Bear Chris

What An ASS..sumption

We are all guilty of it. We all make assumptions in our everyday life. We assume there is going to be a tomorrow. We assume we will have our job. We assume nothing will go wrong. Like these, some things are harmless assumptions. Its only when something tragic happens that these assumptions are wrong. There are, however, harmful ones as well. Ones that, right or wrong, will bring harm.  Assuming the guy with slurred speech and staggering is drunk.Turns out he is suffering a stroke. Assuming the girl with all the boyfriends is a slut. Turns out she has her heart broken every time she gets dumped because she won't have sex. All an assumption is, is an uneducated guess. We can limit the number of them we make simply by asking ourselves, "Do I have enough information to make this guess?" if we all took that split second it takes to challenge our thoughts, we can protect ourselves and others from an assumption that may forever more haunt the ones involved. Instead of assuming the guy is drunk, walk up and ask, "Are you okay?" If your first thought is that she is a slut, ask her, "Do you need help finding the right guy?" Its easier to assume because it means less action or interaction. And lets face it, we live in a society that believes less action is best action. So I challenge everyone to pick a week, any week. Tell yourself, "I will not assume anything." and take action. Look for answers. Sometimes, your first thought will be correct, but I bet you are amazed to find how many times its wrong. With that I leave you for tonight. Love to all!

Burly Bear Chris

Sorry, I Am Not Booked On That Guilt Trip.

I am so sick and tired of the constant bombardment of guilt we face each day these days. Everywhere we turn, someone or something is telling us we should feel guilty. First there is TV. Countess ads telling us we should feel guilt for not buying this, or not losing weight, or for enjoying a cigarette, or for not adopting all the animals, or for having this phone and not that phone. We can't even get on Facebook with being hit with post after post saying things like "98% of my friends will not repost this." or "If you really loved me you would post this for an hour." I am just so sick of it! I am to the point that the more guilt you try to lay on me, the more I am going to do the opposite just for principal. Those that know me, know whats in my heart. I don't need to repost a stupid meme for you to know I hate cancer, I love my family, I have the best friends, I support our military or whatever your cause is at the moment. If you really think I need to do that then you are not truly a friend and you should not be on my friends list to begin with.Guilt is especially strong this time of year. Guilt trips for giving someone a card and not another, for gifting someone something that is more expensive then someone else. For calling one and not another. Its enough to make one shut the doors and windows, throw out the TVs and computers and become a recluse. The crazy bear that no one sees. But I refuse to do that. I simply will ignore the guilt thrown at me and continue on. It is not that I don't care, I just feel we have more important things to worry about. Sorry for the rant tonight but it is just something I need to get off my chest. Thanks for listening. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Another Tale From The Front Desk

I know its Christmas Eve and everyone is busy so I thought I would make today's entry a short one and bring you another Tale From The Front Desk.

One night as I was working away crunching the numbers, I get a call down to the desk. Keep in mind, I am the only one there at night. the guest asks, "Uhm, can you send Maintenance to my room please?" So I ask, "What seems to be the problem sir?" He replays, "Uhh, never mind." and quickly hangs up. I shrug off the call  and go back to work.  A short while later the phone rings again and I notice its from the same room. "Front desk." I say. "Uhh, yeah I really need maintenance." So I explain,"Well sir, I am the only one here. If you tell me what the problem is, I can tell if it is something I can fix or move you to another room." Again he says never mind and hangs up. A short while later the man calls again. "Front desk." "Uhh yes, can you have the police come?" Now I am really concerned. "Well sir, I will need to know why so I can tell them what the problem is." and a long pause, "The problem is....well....uhh... I am here with my mistress and we are handcuffed together and we can't find the key." Trying to keep a straight face I tell him I will find a solution as fast as I can. I called or Maintenance man who lived close and he came down. He tried for quite a long time to open the cuffs. The man was able to put pants on, but the poor woman could not get her dress on and was wrapped in a sheet as this burly guy tried to jimmy the lock. Finally we agreed we needed a professional and called in the police. After several minutes of laughter, they too tried and could not get them undone. By now the sun is beginning to rise, and now the fire dept is there to help. The cuffs are at last undone and the parade of people file out of the room. Needless to say, they did not check out at the desk, but high tailed it out as quick as possible.

Hope you enjoyed this fun story. Have a Merry Christmas Eve everyone. Love to all!

Burly Bear Chris

What Is This Feeling?

Loathing. Loathing is a weird emotion. One that it seems I have when I shouldn't, and not when I should. A little back story here. I have been hurt in the past my former partners. I won't go into details as to how at the moment, I would need their consent to do so. I will simply say that it was devastating each time. By all accounts I should have loathing for these men. But I am not wired that way. Once I love someone, they have a place in my heart forever. The love changes, yes. I do not see them as my lover. But I still want the best for them, and that they are happy. I just don't understand that if someone was important enough to let into your heart, how evicting them is possible. With all but one, I still speak to my exes, remain friends with them, and would consider each of them family. The one I do not speak to, I still wish him the best and hope to hear great things about. I know it confuses some guys I meet and unfortunately, due to the actions of a few, thoughts first run to, "Oh well you must still be having sex with each other." Absolutely not! I don't know where this notion that friends means "Friends With Benefits" came from, but no, I am not that guy. Maybe its because I grew up in a house and neighborhood where all my friends would come over and call my parents "mom" and "dad" and I did the same to theirs. Maybe that's why I am able to look at people as extensions of family so easily. I don't know for sure. All I know is if someone was worthy of me saying "I love you" to, then they are worthy of receiving love forever. Whether it is love as a partner, a friend, or family.
Now, onto the flip side. Who do I loath? Mostly perfect strangers. Those that hurt someone I love. Ones that take advantage of someone or something. Ones that abuse systems for personal gain at the expense of others. The person sitting behind me in the movie theater rustling through that noisy candy package all movie long. The people who live above me who stomp when they walk. The person with the car alarm that has to check every thirty minutes to see if its still set. the person who scowls when I say hello or smile at. And most of all, those who have replaced empathy with apathy. After saying that it seems rather hypocritical to end this way, but I mean it to you, the readers for I loath none of you. So, Love To All.

Burly Bear Chris

Is This You....

So the other night I was entertaining myself, getting to know some new people on Biggercity (a gay chub/bear social community for those that don't know it.) and was chatting with a few guys I know when I get a message from someone I don't know. The message says, "Is this you?" with a link to a photo on a webpage. So I check it out. Sure as shit, there I am sitting at a table at IHOP. The first thought through my mind was, "Holy shit, who took this?" then, "What...what web site is this?" Turns out is was a website of pictures of fat guys eating in public. I was both embarrassed and pissed off. I was telling my friend Becky (I know, I mention her a lot, but that's because she's my Grace to my Will) and she asked what I was going to do about it. At first, I was going to demand the picture to be taken down. Then I got to looking at the site. It was in no means a "bully" site or was it a satire site. It was purely someone's fetish or fantasy. And then I looked at the others who "liked" it or "reblogged" it (obviously Tumblr). Although it still embarrasses me to find out about the picture the way I did, I am not upset about it anymore. I only wish that the person who took the pic would have introduced himself to me, or even flirted a little. I now look over my shoulder everywhere in public, wondering who it could be, or someone else wanting to do the same. Hell, if he would have asked I would have even gave him better poses, haha. I am okay with the picture being up there now, but I still catch myself trying to remember that day. I even know that by the angle of the picture, it was taken at or near the podium at the entrance so it could have been anyone. If, by chance, the person who took the picture sees this, email me. I will even send you better pics to use, lol. I can not say that I have not taken pictures with my phone of someone that has caught my eye. I just never would have put them on display for the world to see like that. I guess something I have learned over the years is that beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. Although I would never consider myself worthy of such attention, I can appreciate that there are people out there that do. And to them, I say humbly, thank you. Has anyone else experienced something like this? Leave a comment or send me a message and tell me about it. Peace and love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Tale From The Front Desk

In my 20's I was working in the Hotel Industry as a Night Auditor. It was long hours. Most of those hours spent alone crunching number. The sound of the strokes on the 10 key ticking away the hours. Every once in a while I would get lucky and there would be break in the monotony with a strange guest request, or a problem I would have to trouble shoot. Some of those distractions would be down right strange and I often thought, "I should write these down and see if others would enjoy them." So, I am now going to do that. Here is the first in, what I hope will be enjoyable, Tales From The Front Desk.

So one night at around 2 am, (working graveyard you realize Good Night becomes Good Morning at 4 am) I receive a call down to the desk from one of our rooms. "Good evening, front desk." I answer. On the other end I hear an elderly mans voice, rather quiet in tone. "Yes, I hate to bother you, but I lost my wife.." Saddened I say, "Oh I'm sorry sir" thinking to myself how lonely it must be in the middle of the night after losing a spouse. Again the soft voice says, "You see, I've lost my wife...." Then there is a long pause, so I again say, "Yes sir, I am very sad to hear that." This time a little louder the voice says, "She's not here anymore." Trying to be comforting I say to him, "I'm am truly sorry sir, can I get you anything?" The man then says in a very loud voice, "No, I lost my wife! I went to the car to get her medication and when I got back, she was gone!" Now I feel really stupid and tell him I will help him look for her. While looking for her he tells me she has not taken her anti psychotic medication and she suffers from delusions. We finally locate his wife. She is outside sitting on a wall. On the Hotel side it was a short wall, but because the hotel sat on a hill, the other side dropped about 20 feet. As we approached her she started shouting to get back and not shoot her. She leaned back and nearly fell backwards. After a long while, her husband was finally able to get her to recognize him and we got them back to their room. After everything was back to normal and his wife was safe, all I could do was shake my head, pick up the phone and call another local hotel. To keep from boredom, several of us Night Auditors would contact each other with stories of, "You are not going to believe this one."

Hope you enjoyed the story. There are plenty more where that came from. If you would like to hear more, just let me know. Love to all

Burly Bear Chris

Celebrate The Little Things

Its the first Weekaversary on my blog!! Yay! Its been a great week and I think I am off to a good start. I want to thank those who have read, and commented, on my posts be it here or sent to my email. This blog is a labor of love. I have always enjoyed writing but been way too critical of myself to let others see. This blog is helping be a bit more courageous in putting myself out there for the world to see. I couldn't be more elated with the positive feedback I have received from some of you. Thank you for the support. Now I won't be celebrating every week, so don't worry, lol, but I felt this week was a huge mile marker and wanted to pay it respect. I want to thank Becky, who really encouraged me to begin this blog and even helped with the name.  I want to thank Dick, who is always the first to read a new post and share it with others. I want to thank the more then 300 people in 10 different countries who have taken the time to glance at my Chrisisms. My goal remains the same, at least one post a day, and feel the discipline is helping me from going crazy and keeps me focused. I have received messages about some posts that have really spoken to a few of you and that truly makes me happy that we were able to connect in such a way. So keeping this short and sweet, thank you! Look forward to sharing many more thoughts and stories with you! Love to all!

Burly Bear Chris

The Roads Of Life

 

Imagine if your life were mapped out on a piece of paper. One long road across. Then add the roads of those around you. Some would cross briefly, a fixed point in time. Others would run along side of you. Spanning several miles. And sometimes, after running beside yours for a long time, they drift off, into a different direction. If we try to remain parallel to these roads, we lose sight of our own destination and ultimately come to a dead end. Its not easy to give up something, or someone. I know this quite well. But you have to ask yourself, "Is there truly a chance that this detour is temporary? Or do I continue on, allowing room for another road to come along side mine?" I am not just talking about partners or spouses. All relationships effect the direction we head in. I have had to make some decisions this year that were very difficult and even painful, but I had to in order for me to move forward. And even in one case, so he can move forward. Does this mean that when their roads are out of sight from mine I stop caring? No, completely the opposite. Once I love someone, they always have a permanent spot in my heart. I will always love them, and want the best for them, for us. Even if that best means that I need to step away. I have to fight the urge to go chasing their roads every day, but I know that doing so would be the wrong thing to do.I have been surprised in the past. Roads that had long parted ways have returned on their own accord many years later. And as great as that is, it would be foolish of me to expect it from each one. I should also point out, it is necessary to look at those roads around us and realize how special it is to have that time together. If we don't, the journey becomes quite lonely. So with that being said, I wish everyone a happy and safe journey along their own roads. I look forward to the days ours cross. Be it briefly or across the miles. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

And Then There's Those Other Things...

If there had to be an anthem for my life, it would have to be "Cigarettes And Chocolate Milk" by Rufus Wainwright. Everything I find enjoyment in are so opposite of what is considered "normal" or "acceptable." From a good cigarette, to decadent foods, to..well.. those "other" things.  But as much as I get the feeling that society wishes me to oppress and abstain from those things, I proudly accept, and sometimes even flaunt, them. I was not always like that. For years I let those voices condemning my vices get in and turn my enjoyment and pleasure into guilt. Once I finally took a stand and said to myself, "No! I am not going to accept the guilt for this!", I found even greater enjoyment out of them. I was the same way with my partners. Suppressed my desires thinking it was more important to fulfill theirs. When I learned to express mine too, it made things that much better because it made it mutual rather then one sided. There are still those around me to tell me how "That is so bad for you." or "You are going to hell for that." But quite frankly, they are not telling me anything I had not already known. Yes, there are those that say these things simply out of caring and concern, and to them, I appreciate it. But a life lengthened by doing things hated, is a punishment, not enjoyment. Our time here is already short, so why spend it dreading what each day brings? As Rosalind Russell says in Auntie Mame, "Yes! Live! Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death! " I already have too many moments where I think back and say to myself, "I wish I had...", I don't need any more. So if I go out to eat with friends and they order a desert, why deprive myself because I am a big person and those around are going to think, "Like he needs that!"? What I do is none of their concern as their opinions are none of mine. If I am enjoying a smoke, I don't need some stranger telling me, "Smoking is bad for you", I know this, I can read the warning labels, thank you. And if I am with someone who really enjoys my size, and they want to pat my belly or give it a squeeze, I find it no different then two twinkies with their hands in each others pockets. So I say Enjoy life! Enjoy each other! And above all, find your happiness and don't let anyone tell you, you can't.

Burly Bear Chris

Ain't Nothing Like The Real Thing.

It is official folks. Toy companies have finally run out of ideas. You can almost see how the thought process for this one played out. A toy maker spends the day, pacing back and forth trying to come up with a new original idea. Upon arriving home he crosses the lawn when, WHAM, he steps upon Fido's lawn mine. Light bulb! What's next, "Hepatitis Harry Dolls?" I think it is high time we revisit some classic toys. Ones that were fun, yet taught us without knowing it. Like Erector Sets, (What engineer doesn't say they got their interest in design from an Erector Set?), Tonka Trucks, or a classic Baby Doll. And games like "Life", "Scattergories", or "Yahtzee" that taught family time was more then just people sharing the same house at the same time. And they did not need to be crass about it either. What are some of your favorite toys you would love to see come back?

Santa! What a Big Package You Have!

The final few days of this years Christmas shopping is upon us. Time to make those lists and check it twice. And if I am not on it, my favorite color is red, lol. But it is also time to rethink what you have bought had honestly ask yourself, "Will they like it?" The lines at the stores for returns are FILLED with gifts that the presenter simply did not ask that simple little question. How many times have you thought to yourself, "Really? This really made you think of me?" as you put on that fake smile and politely said, "Aww you shouln't have!", hoping that it does not come across as, "No, really, you should not have given me this."?

When the subject of worst Christmas gifts ever comes up, I have no problem thinking of mine. It was the year I had just turned 16. I had gotten my driver's permit. Someone had told me that I was getting a car, don't remember if it was a sister or someone else, but anyway, I was so excited I could not wait! My father was a car salesman, so I just knew that he would pick out the best for me. A Mustang, or even a truck! The anticipation was torture! Worse then those years earlier when I couldn't wait to see what Santa brought me! Finally Christmas day arrived. My sisters and I woke up early, each in our rooms waiting by the door. We had a rule, no one was to leave their room until we all as a family headed to the Family Room. When my parents let us go we all ran to the tree. I tried to act as if I did not know what was coming. I picked up one of the small gifts for me and before I could unwrap it, my mom said "Wait!" I looked up and my dad was at the back curtain, as he began to open them, the excitement in me was about to burst out like a pinata. And then, there it was. My first car! a 1974, pumpkin orange, Ford Pinto. I tried, oh how I tried, to keep that excitement alive, but they saw through it. Then I felt terrible for feeling terrible. Here I was at 16 with a car, any car should have been great. The rest of my gifts that year were all items for the car. Seat covers, floor mats, key chain, license plate frame, etc. I couldn't help but think that damn car had a better Christmas then I did.Anyway, that was my worst gift, what was yours? Leave comments bellow and don't be afraid to share. Thanks for reading.

Burly Bear Chris

Sticks and Stones....

 We all know the old expression. Say it with me. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me." We have all said it, but do we really believe it? As children, we are taught this mantra as a way of getting over being called names or insults. So as we grow older, why do we suddenly forget this lesson and become hyper sensitive to certain words and not others? I have two different approaches to this topic.
The first is about replacement words. Like why is it okay to say "intercourse", "hump" and "sex", but not okay for "fuck"? Better yet, why is it okay to imply a so-called bad word, like "shoot" instead of "shit", or "dang" for "damn"? I know what you are all saying. Its because some words have stronger implications to them then others, or, because society has agreed that these words are bad. I think we forget that words themselves have no power. It is the person whose ears those words fall upon that give the words power. By shunning and restricting words, we give them that much more power. If we look back at some words from our past we can see the ridiculousness of giving some words the power we do. Poppycock! Poppycock literally translated means "soft dung" from Dutch, but the use of this as an expletive is strictly American from the mid 1800's. Polite people used balderdash instead.  How about "Bull!"? Also from the 1800's, Bull was a taboo word due to its association with sexual potency, polite people would use words or phrases like "gentlemen cow" or "seed ox". As the years marched on, people lost interest in these words, and thus they lost their power. Pretty funny to look at how uptight society was then, right?
The second approach is about slurs. Those words that are meant to purposely cast a negative light upon a specific person or group. These words not only are given power, but bite. These words get the same source of power, but what gives them their bite is intolerance. When we begin to think we are better then someone, what better way to demonstrate that then by taking that thing that makes them different and using it against them. Right? Well that is how slurs get their start, but it is not right. But we can still take the power away from these words. Turn the negative meant by them, own the meaning, and make it positive. For example, I'm gay. (I know, shocker, right?) I have been called every expletive imaginable for gay, like "Cock sucker", I simply say, "Yes I am, and damned good at it, your point was?" or "Fag", I say, "No thanks, I just finished my cigarette, but thanks for asking." And one more, "Pussy", I say, "Oh no, I don't touch the stuff, I like dick." The point is, don't give these words their power and you take away their bite. Anyway, I could go on forever on this, and this is a blog, not a book, so feel free to send me your thoughts, comments and questions on the subject.

Burly Bear Chris

Better latte' then never!

Now its no secret. This bear LOVES his coffee! It doesn't matter if its dark, medium, light, flavored, decaf, hot, iced, double caffeinated extra dark roast (yes, there is such a thing!), espresso, latte', frap, or even chocolate covered beans, I love it! You would think that I was always a coffee drinker, but it is something that has developed more so recently in life then earlier. I had an occasional cup here and there in my early 20's while working graveyard shifts, but is was far from being something I enjoyed, savored and craved as I do now. Its gotten to the point of more then just taste. The smell alone has become such a happy smell for me. And this may be a little TMI, but if I go on a coffee date with someone and and there is a kiss later, and the smell and taste of coffee is still there....{{{shudder}}}Yes! . Sorry, where was I? Oh yeah. Late in life. So here I am at 42 and I feel like an infant discovering solid food for the first time. I want to try every flavor, every way of making it, every way of drinking it, leaving no bean unturned. As I write this, I can't help but wonder. Is what I have an addiction, obsession, fetish or simply a guilty pleasure. If I don't have a cup of coffee, its not like I experience withdrawls. I can go days or weeks without it. But if I do have it, I can't have just one. And if I smell it, I have to have it. So what do you think? Leave me comments with your thoughts.

Burly Bear Chris

A Senseless Act

As I awake this morning I am met with the horrific news coming out of Sandy Hook Elementary School, in Newtown, Connecticut. I can't help but get emotional and cry for those poor children. There is no justification that can be made for why someone would take out their anger or frustration out on a child. These children could not have done ANYTHING to those responsible for this. At this point it is being reported that  at least one of the shooters then took his own life. Why take the lives of those children first? I do not believe in religion. However, a part of me hopes I am wrong and that this/these man/men have to look into the eyes of these poor children in the afterlife and answer their sure to be only question. "Why?" And my heart bleeds for those who now have to live with these images for the rest of their lives. The parents who were looking forward to their children's smiles Christmas morning, only 11 days away.The classmates, who may never feel safe entering into a school campus again. The teachers, who will undoubtedly ask them selves, "What could I have done?" I wish I could be there, give every single one of them a hug that simply takes their pain and heartache away. I urge everyone, please take a moment grab everyone close to you, hug them extra tight and never forget to tell them you love them. I don't know why it has become the social norm to shield our emotions and feelings. I tell everyone special to me I love them. Gay or straight, man or woman, friend or family. You never know if you may never get the chance. If we all expressed love a little bit more freely, maybe, just maybe, we would see less of situations like this. So in conclusion, if you are reading this, I love you.

Chris

That beotch be crazy!

What if I were to tell you that, as you were leaving (Insert Name Here) Coffee, and standing there, outside the door, is this woman. All of a sudden out of nowhere, she starts screaming, "You don't know who the fuck you are dealing with!". No one is around. Its only you and her. "I'm not the hoe, bitch, you're the hoe!" she continues. What would you do? Talk to her? Yell back at her? Hell no! You would get the HELL out of there in a hurry thinking to yourself, "That beotch be crazy!" Right?
Why the scenario? What is my point? Well, it is simply this. When I open my wall on Facebook, or whatever social media I am using at the time, and I see a post like this, not directed at anyone, just some random thing a "friend" is ranting about, I get that same mental image I just described. And I really do think to myself, "This beotch be crazy!" And the last thing I want to do is get into a discussion as to who, what, where and why she is. I am going to high tail it out by hitting the "ignore" button. If you are truly mad at someone, put it in a message to them. No one else needs to see your business. (Unless you are a hot guy with no pants, then by all means, show me your business.) If you are upset and looking for a shoulder or ear to attach to, then say, "Having a bad day, need someone to talk to." But under no circumstances is it socially acceptable, public or cyber, to act like a crazy beotch. Anyway, I thought I would start with a short and simple rant. Always willing to hear your thoughts and comments on the subject.

Burly Bear Chris

Hi and Welcome

Hi there and welcome to my Blog! At the encouragement of my friends who get a kick out of my opinions and witticisms, especially Becky (wink), I have started this blog. In here you will find a very eclectic assortment of topics and  some may not be suitable for those easily offended, My intent for writing this is not only for amusement, but perhaps to get the cranial juices flowing, the nerve endings firing, the excitement building until, BOOM, a thought and opinion is born. Hence the title of this blog. This is just the beginning, and I have opinions and musings on, well, just about everything, so it won't be long until this starts to take shape. If you like something you see or read, please by all means, share with your friends. And if you disagree with something, then please, by all means, feel free to engage me in conversation. I will gladly have friendly debates, but not insults. So again, welcome, and don't forget to subscribe.

Chris AKA BurlyBear