Persistence Pays Off

Some of you already know this, but for those that don't, I have been battling a very long, very frustrating battle for the last 4 years. Back in 2006 I severely damaged my right knee. I continued to work and use it up until 2009 when the pain became unbearable. I filed for disability. For 4 years I kept hearing the word "no". Finally today, in court, I finally got the word "yes".  So many times I just felt like giving up. Like no one understood and could not ever understand what I was and am going through. Hearing the medical expert give his testimony today and validating everything I have suffered through, I finally felt better than a number. I was an actual human, not a drain on the system. I was warned before going in that the Judge was a tough one. Only approving 29% of her cases. A source of worry going in. But coming out with her approval in the end, and being one of the 29%, I feel extra validated. I admit, I broke down. But being persistent and not giving up. Even when everyone told me to. That is what got me to this point. No matter what it is you are trying to do, if you want it. If you need it. Fight for it. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

The Stigma Of Therapy

I came across this article and today I thought I would share someone else's voice. You can find this article here.

Don’t ask, Don’t tell: The Stigma of Going to Therapy

Posted on August 17, 2011 by admin

by Mary Russell, M.S.

Perceptions of psychotherapy have improved considerably. Nonetheless, a 2004 poll by the American Psychological Association reported that 30% of Americans worry about others finding out if they saw a therapist and 20% wouldn’t seek needed therapy due to stigma. Often, decisions to keep one’s therapy secret or, worse, avoid seeking help can lead to unhealthy negative emotions that interfere with daily life. Further, these emotions are almost always driven in part by irrational beliefs about what being “in therapy” means. What are some beliefs that cause people to feel so badly and how might we modify them to help them feel better and make healthier decisions?

Individuals considering therapy may think, “needing therapy means something is wrong with me and there shouldn’t be! It would be horrible if there was and it would mean I was crazy!” Though people may hold firmly to these beliefs, are they rational? Let’s assume there is something “wrong” with you- where is the evidence that you shouldn’t have imperfections? As humans, we all have our unique strengths and weaknesses – we are all fallible and flawed. If this is the case, is it really horrible that you are imperfect also? Further, how does it follow that because you are imperfect that you’re a crazy person? Aren’t you more than just a sum of your flaws? Would you tell a friend he was crazy because of his imperfections? Better to think, “I would prefer there was nothing wrong with me, but everyone is flawed. This doesn’t mean that I’m crazy, just that I could use some help coping with my flaws. This is unfortunate, but certainly not horrible.” Thoughts like these would lead to healthy negative feelings of regret, but not shame, and sadness, but not depression.

Alternatively, people in therapy may feel embarrassed or ashamed stemming from thoughts like, “If people knew I was in therapy, they would think I was crazy or weak or overly dramatic. They shouldn’t think that and it would be horrible if they did! I couldn’t bear it!” These thoughts don’t seem terribly rational either. Let’s assume people did think you were crazy, weak, or a drama queen [or king!], would it really be that horrible? Just because they think it, doesn’t make it true and it certainly doesn’t make it horrible. Would you cease to exist if people thought negative things about you? Surely, people have said bad things about you before and you’ve survived and tolerated it. Better to think, “I would prefer that people didn’t think such negative things about me but just because I want them to not say such things, doesn’t mean they have to. It’s too bad, but not horrible. It might be difficult to deal with their opinions, but I can deal with it.”

The decision to go to therapy is not always an easy one. That being said, if you are struggling to function in your everyday life or experiencing unhealthy feelings, therapy can be a valuable tool to help you cope and feel better. Do not let your irrational beliefs about what therapy does and does not mean prevent you from seeking help or feel badly about needing help.

“The difference between a normal and a stigmatised person was a question of perspective, not reality.” – Erving Goffman

I hope this article helps some of those who feel they need the help, but are too afraid to do so. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris 

Something To Think About

What if video games were just like real life. You only got one life and no do overs. Would you still play the game? Do you play it the same way? Now imagine the opposite, what if life was like a video game? Would you live it the same way? Just some random deep thought questions. Curious to get everyone's opinions. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Never Feed Your Dog These Foods

I think it is common knowledge that you can not feed your dog chocolate, but there are some equally, if not worse, things to feed your pet. Here is a list of things NOT to feed your dog.

1. Avocado  No matter how good you think the guacamole is, you shouldn't give it to your dog. Avocados contain a substance called persin. It's harmless for humans who aren't allergic. But large amounts might be toxic to dogs. If you happen to be growing avocados at home, keep your dog away from the plants. Persin is in the leaves, seed, and bark, as well as in the fruit.
2. Alcohol  Beer, liquor, wine, foods containing alcohol -- none of it's good for your dog. That's because alcohol has the same effect on a dog's liver and brain that it has on humans. But it takes far less to do its damage. Just a little can cause vomiting, diarrhea, central nervous system depression, problems with coordination, difficulty breathing, coma, even death. And the smaller the dog, the greater the effect.
3. Onions and Garlic Onions and garlic in all forms -- powdered, raw, cooked, or dehydrated -- can destroy a dog's red blood cells, leading to anemia. That can happen even with the onion powder found in some baby food. An occasional small dose is probably OK. But just eating a large quantity once or eating smaller amounts regularly can cause poisoning. Symptoms of anemia include weakness, vomiting, little interest in food, dullness, and breathlessness. 
4. Coffee, Tea, and Other Caffeine Caffeine in large enough quantities can be fatal for a dog. And, there is no antidote. Symptoms of caffeine poisoning include restlessness, rapid breathing, heart palpitations, muscle tremors, fits, and bleeding. In addition to tea and coffee - including beans and grounds -- caffeine can be found in cocoa, chocolate, colas, and stimulant drinks such as Red Bull. It's also in some cold medicines and pain killers.
5. Grapes and Raisins  Grapes and raisins have often been used as treats for dogs. But it's not a good idea. Although it isn't clear why, grapes and raisins can cause kidney failure in dogs. And just a small amount can make a dog ill. Repeated vomiting is an early sign. Within a day, the dog will become lethargic and depressed. The best prevention is to keep grapes and raisins off counters and other places your dog can reach.
6. Milk and Other Dairy Products  On a hot day, it may be tempting to share your ice cream cone with your dog. But if your dog could, it would thank you for not doing so. Milk and milk-based products can cause diarrhea and other digestive upset as well as set up food allergies (which often manifest as itchiness)
7. Macadamia Nuts  Dogs should not eat macadamia nuts or foods containing macadamia nuts because they can be fatal. As few as six raw or roasted macadamia nuts can make a dog ill. Symptoms of poisoning include muscle tremors, weakness or paralysis of the hindquarters, vomiting, elevated body temperature, and rapid heart rate. Eating chocolate with the nuts will make symptoms worse, possibly leading to death
8. Candy and Gum  Candy, gum, toothpaste, baked goods, and some diet foods are sweetened with xylitol. Xylitol can cause an increase in the insulin circulating through your dog's body. That can cause your dog's blood sugar to drop and can also cause liver failure. Initial symptoms include vomiting, lethargy, and loss of coordination. Eventually, the dog may have seizures. Liver failure can occur within just a few days.
9. Chocolate  Most people know that chocolate is bad for dogs. The toxic agent in chocolate is theobromine. It's in all kinds of chocolate, even white chocolate. The most dangerous kinds, though, are dark chocolate, chocolate mulch, and unsweetened baking chocolate. Eating chocolate, even just licking the icing bowl, can cause a dog to vomit, have diarrhea, and be excessively thirsty. It can also cause abnormal heart rhythm, tremors, seizures, and death
10. Fat Trimmings and Bones  Table scraps often contain meat fat that a human didn't eat and bones. Both are dangerous for dogs. Fat trimmed from meat, both cooked and uncooked, can cause pancreatitis in dogs. And, although it seems natural to give a dog a bone, a dog can choke on it. Bones can also splinter and cause an obstruction or lacerations of your dog's digestive system. It's best to just forget about the doggie bag.
11. Persimmons, Peaches, and Plums  The problem with these fruits is the seeds or pits. The seeds from persimmons can cause inflammation of the small intestine in dogs. They can also cause intestinal obstruction. Obstruction is also a possibility if a dog eats the pit from a peach or plum. Plus, peach and plum pits contain cyanide, which is poisonous to both humans and dogs. The difference is humans know not to eat them. Dogs don't.
12. Raw Eggs  There are two problems with giving your dog raw eggs. The first is the possibility of food poisoning from bacteria like Salmonella or E. coli. The second is that an enzyme in raw eggs interferes with the absorption of a particular B vitamin. This can cause skin problems as well as problems with your dog's coat if raw eggs are fed for a long time.
13. Raw Meat and Fish  Raw meat and raw fish, like raw eggs, can contain bacteria that causes food poisoning. In addition, certain kinds of fish such as salmon, trout, shad, or sturgeon can contain a parasite that causes "fish disease" or "salmon poisoning disease." If not treated, the disease can be fatal within two weeks. The first signs of illness are vomiting, fever, and big lymph nodes. Thoroughly cooking the fish will kill the parasite and protect your dog
14. Salt  It's not a good idea to share salty foods like chips or pretzels with your dog. Eating too much salt can cause excessive thirst and urination and lead to sodium ion poisoning. Symptoms of too much salt include vomiting, diarrhea, depression, tremors, elevated body temperature, and seizures. It may even cause death.
15. Sugary Foods and Drinks  Too much sugar can do the same thing to dogs that it does to humans. It can lead to obesity, dental problems, and possibly the onset of diabetes.
16. Yeast Dough  Before it's baked, bread dough needs to rise. And, that's exactly what it would do in your dog's stomach if your dog ate it. As it swells inside, the dough can stretch the dog's abdomen and cause severe pain. In addition, when the yeast ferments the dough to make it rise, it produces alcohol that can lead to alcohol poisoning
17. Your Medicine  Reaction to a drug commonly prescribed for humans is the most common cause of poisoning in dogs. Just as you would do for your children, keep all medicines out of your dog's reach. And, never give your dog any over-the-counter medicine unless told to do so by your vet. Ingredients such as acetaminophen or ibuprofen are common in pain relievers and cold medicine. And, they can be deadly for your dog.
18. Baking Products  Many other items commonly found on kitchen shelves can harm your dog. For instance, baking powder and baking soda are both highly toxic. So are nutmeg and other spices. Keeping food items high enough to be out of your dog's reach and keeping pantry doors closed will help protect your dog from serious food-related illness

Some of these may seem common sense, but I am sure at least one or two of them surprised you as they did me. Lets keep our pets safe and watch what they eat. Thank you to Web MD for this list. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Misconceptions About Being Fat

Having been big my entire life I have heard just about every misconception, or assumption you can think of about being fat or getting fat. Today, I want to clear a few of them up. But before I do, I want to point out there there is nothing that applies to everyone equally. What may be true for one, does not make it so for all.

1. You must eat a lot to be fat. This is not true. There are a multitude of reasons why a person gains weight. A few of those reasons could be medications, metabolism, genetics, types of food, even in small amounts. Not all fat people are big eaters just as all skinny ones eat like birds.
2. Fat people are lazy. Just are there are lazy skinny people, there are highly active fat people. I know several fat people who can do circles around most people I know.
3. Fat people are moody. There is no direct correlation to moodiness and fatness. There are, however, relations between moodiness and being bullied or picked on, regardless of body size.
4. Fat people don't get laid. I will gladly compare lists with anyone. There are, in fact , people who either look past a person's weight, or actually physically attracted to larger people.
5. Fat people have high blood pressure. It is amazing how many people, including Doctors, who automatically assume being fat means high blood pressure or high cholesterol. I have never had either. Just as skinny people can have these, so can fat. Again, this relates to the misconception about food.
6. Fat people are lonely. It doesn't matter if you are fat, skinny or anywhere in between, loneliness and depression are not discriminatory. 
7. Fat people don't know they are fat. This one is really...well..stupid. It is just as obviously to them as it is you, your telling them is not necessary.
8. Fat people don't want to/too lazy to get skinny. Living a life of ridicule, harassment, and judgement is not something anyone wants. For some, it simply is not possible to be skinny, and for others its physically impossible. Again, there are more factors then just food at times.

I hope this helps alleviate some stereotypes out there. I am sure most, if not all, my readers none of this is new to them, and are a bit more educated and compassionate then most. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

100 Questions

100 questions about me.

1. How are you, really? I am doing okay
2. How do you feel right now? What are you thinking about? I feel good, thinking about school.
3. What’s your favorite color? Red
4. What’s your favorite food? Beef
5. What’s your favorite dessert? Ice Cream
6. How old are you? 42
7. What have you learned today? Expect the unexpected
8. What was your favorite subject in school? English Comp
9. What do you do? Student
10. What are some of your favorite books? Agatha Christie books.
11. What are some of your favorite movies? Steel Magnolias, Gone With The Wind, Trick
12. What kind of music are you into? pop mostly, but listen to all.
13. If you were going to write a book, what would you call it and what would it be about? It would be "Who Is Chasing You?" About the Chub/Chaser community
14. What’s one of the scariest things you’ve ever done? This blog
15. What accomplishment are you most proud of? this Blog
16. Are you married? No
17. How did you meet your spouse / girlfriend / boyfriend? Single
18. Do you think it’s better to get married when you’re young or better to wait a while? Wait, relationships change
19. Do you have any kids? No
20. Have you ever thought of adopting? Yes
21. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? Veterinarian 
22. How did you get into Retail? I left working Hotels to work at Disneyland
23. Would you recommend Disneyland for other people? Why / Why not? Yes, it is a very rewarding job.
24. What do you do for fun? read, write, shop, amusement parks, museums, beach, coffee houses
25. Do you like traveling? Love to travel
26. If you could visit any country in the world, where would you go? Ireland
27. Who are some people you’d like to meet someday? My niece and nephew
28. If someone asked you to give them a random piece of advice, what would you say? Do as you say, say as you do.
29. What’s one of your favorite habits you have? singing randomly
30. What are some things that make you really happy? Family, Friends
31. What are some things that make you really sad? abuse
32. What are some things that scare you? stupidity
33. Do you like to plan things out in detail or be spontaneous? both
34. Are you a religious person? no
35. If you could go back in history, who would you like to meet? Shakespeare 
36. Would you rather live in the country or in the city? country
37. What was your life like growing up? somewhat typical to the outside
38. What were you like in high school? I think a lot like I am now
39. Do you have any brothers or sisters? How many? sisters, 2 full sisters, 1 step and 1 half
40. What’s your favorite part about today so far? talking with friends
41. Who in your life has influenced you the most? How did they do it? My Mother! She raised me with morals and empathy
42. What’s your favorite joke? What's white and sticky and falls from the sky?
43. Have you ever tried sushi? (Did you like it?) yes
44. Do you like spicy food? Love it!
45. How do you like your steak cooked? rare
46. Do you have a favorite number? Any particular reason why you like that number? 13, I just love the darkness of it
47. If you were a type of animal, what would you be and why? Tiger, I have always felt a connection to them
48. What’s one of the strangest things you’ve ever done? I can't say here ;)
49. What kind of vacations do you like? long car rides
50. What are some of your major goals in life? Psychology Degree, true love
51. What are some of your smaller goals in life? be more assertive
52. What do you like least about yourself? my dependency 
53. What embarrasses you? Very little if anything
54. If you could try out any job for a day, what would you like to try? director
55. What’s your earliest memory? being hit by a car
56. What’s the best decision you ever made? go back to school
57. Who’s your best / closest friend? Lauri. Love you Hode!!!!
58. What do you think people think of you? nice, loyal
59. What were your grades like in school? above average
60. If you could learn one random skill, what would you learn? Piano
61. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? both, depending on the situation
62. Have you ever taken a personality test? (How did the results turn out?) no
63. What’s the first thing you notice about people? eyes
64. Do you think people can control their own destiny? somewhat
65. Do you think all people are equally valuable, or do you think some people in certain situations might be more valuable than others (say, a severely retarded patient vs. a doctor who could potentially save hundreds of lives)? This is too vague and depends entirely on the situation, however in general, no, we are all equal
66. Do you think people are basically bad or basically good? good
67. Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, and practices of individuals or groups? Universal without a doubt
68. Do you think God exists? unknown and organized religion is too corupt
69. Do you think any kind of afterlife exists? yes
70. Do you vote? Why / Why not? If you do vote, how do you usually vote? yes, liberally
71. Do you think gay people choose to be gay? Do you think straight people choose to be straight? It is not a choice
72. Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? In general, no, but in a spy movie situation, yes
73. Would you kill an innocent person if you thought it might mean saving a dozen other people? depends on the situation. 
74. What’s the most money you’ve ever given away? I lost 200.00 so, yeah, whoever found it I hope needed it
75. What’s the biggest personal change you’ve ever made? Coming out
76. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done? wait so long to come out
77. What do you think would be one of the best steps we could take toward ending poverty around the world? put an end to lobbyists
78. What do you think we could do to best improve the education system? invest in teachers
79. In general, what do you think about art? I love it and wish I was more artistic
80. What are some of your favorite websites? Facebook, Blogspot, YouTube
81. What’s the biggest turnoff in a man/woman? liars
82. What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told? You were the best
83. What’s something most people don’t know about you? my middle name
84. What’s something you wish everyone knew about you? how much I care
85. What are some of the first things you do in the morning? coffee
86. What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you? I can't say here
87. Do you cry easily? yes
88. How do you feel about public speaking? I can do it, rather not, but I can
89. Do you like to talk on the phone? yes
90. How many emails do you get each week, roughly? 40 or so
91. If someone were to make a movie about your life, who would you hope would play you? some unknown start that needs a break
92. What’s one of your favorite questions to ask new friends or to get a conversation going? How are you
93. Would you ever sky dive or bungee jump? no
94. Have you ever been in a fist fight? yes
95. What’s the best prank you’ve ever pulled? We used to TP the same house every week. Finally we just left a roll on the porch that said "Do it yoursekf"
96. What did you do on your 16th birthday? Go to school
97. What do you think is one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teacher
98. How would you explain your basic life philosophy? Be honest with yourself and others
99. Would you rather be hated or forgotten? hated
100. If you knew you would die tomorrow, would you feel cheated today? no

What I Am Watching On YouTube

So every once in a while I come across a channel on YouTube that I just can't get enough of. What happens is I catch a video, and then I instantly get obsessed! I have to watch all of them from that channel, one right after another! The most recent of these is "My Drunk Kitchen" by Hannah Hart. I laugh out loud every single time I watch her videos. I think it has something to do with the fact I remember doing the exact same things at one point, albeit those memories are a bit fuzzy. Now if that were not enough, Hannah has several other playlists and I am enthralled by each one. So if you guys get the chance head on over to her channel and check her out! Keep up the great work Hannah! I am a Hartosexual! Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Uhm, Dude, Your Wife Is A Shrew!

So have you ever wanted to take your friend by the shoulders, shake the hell out of him screaming, "What the hell were you thinking? She's a shrew!" Well, I have such a friend. She is one of those people who thinks she needs to control everything and everyone. I feel terrible for this guy. She takes every opportunity to berate him in public, chastise him online, and nag him at home. She controls who he can and can not talk to. She degrade him and his family. Threatens him physically. Abuses him emotionally. Its like he is living an episode of Jerry Springer that will never end. How do you help a friend in that situation? I know, he is an adult and he needs to stand up for himself, that is a given. But how do you encourage him to be brave enough to do it without sounding like a total jerk? I feel bad for him. He is living in a modern age "Taming Of The Shrew" but, so far, in this version, the shrew remains untamed. How would you all go about offering help to your friend? Send me suggestions as I am honestly curious. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Top Ten Songs I Love To Hate

Everyone has them. Those songs that you just can not stand but the moment you one, it is stuck in your head forever! Yeah I have quite a few like that, so today I bring you: The Top Ten Songs I Love To Hate!

• 10. Nicki Minaj - Stupid Hoe

• 9. LMFAO - Sexy and I Know It

• 8. Friday - Rebecca Black - Official Music Video

• 7. Aqua - Barbie Girl

• 6.  The Gummy Bear Song

• 5.  The Black Eyed Peas - I Gotta Feeling

• 4.  Jennifer Lopez - On The Floor ft. Pitbull

• 3.  Adele - Rolling In The Deep

• 2.  Taylor Swift - We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

And number 1.............

• 1.  PSY - GANGNAM STYLE (강남스타일) M/V

I am sure some of you will disagree with my list and, you know, that's okay. Everyone has their own style and tastes. What songs would appear on your top ten? Feel free to comment. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Not Seeing What Is Right In Front Of Us.

All too often I see people who are completely oblivious to the things right in front of them. I often wonder why others can not see what I see. I find myself at times fighting the urge to bop someone on the nose just to get them to focus. I think that sometimes, too, that we get used to instant gratification, that we forget that some things require a little effort, and when it comes time to put in the effort, it is all too easy to give up and look for something else. This is most prevalent in relationships. Too many people seem to expect to find someone who will fit into their life like a snug puzzle piece that they forget a relationship takes give and take on both sides to fit perfectly. More often then not, the perfect fit in right in front of their face, but they are overlooked because there is not a big flashing sign that says "Pick Me" above their head. In all honesty, I know what that is like. But I have also been completely oblivious to someone showing me interest as well. I think we need to take a step back and revisit the days when it was acceptable to take the chance and show interest in someone and say, "Would you like to go out sometime?" In our easily offended and sue happy state of mind, people are no longer comfortable with that because it could cost them a lot more then an embarrassing "no" like it used to. Now one can lose their job, be sued for sexual harassment, or worse. Maybe if their was less fear, it would be a lot easier to express that interest. I sometimes feel as if I were meant for the neanderthal life and just need a club upside the head to know who likes me and who doesn't. lol. But I also see blinders in other areas than just love. Like social media hoaxes. People are so lazy and unwilling to check facts that they blindly re-post anything shocking. How funny that these are the same people who complain of getting viruses or hacked. Show a troll how gullible you are and you open yourself up to being victimized. If you take the 30 seconds of effort, you can protect yourself. Then there are the blinders worn by those looking for work. Again, all too often I see people who seem to expect to have a job fall into their lap. They want their friends or family to do the effort of getting them hired with them. They have no sense to get out on their own and actually "look" for a job. And these too happen to be the same ones that when they do get a job, and looking for another one a few months later. Its time we look up from our phones and see reality people. If we all take just a little effort, and yes, it requires effort, things will fall into focus once again. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Suicide Is Not An Answer

With the advent of some high profile suicides, I felt it was rather important to get the message out that suicide is not the answer. No matter what the problems being faced, suicide is far worse then any other option. Suicide does not rid or absolve anyone of their burdens. It simply intensifies it and move the burden to someone else. Their are many reasons why someone would consider taking their own life, but I want to concentrate on just one of those reasons. LGBT youth are among the highest suicide rates. The pressure of bullying, discrimination and increased shame by religious affiliations can seem increasingly unbearable to those in the LGBT community. Its hard to understand and rationalize your emotions when you are both depressed and confused about you sexual identity. Under those conditions, it seems you have only two options. Either live a lifetime of the pain or to end it all. It sounds cliche' to say, but it really does get better. I want to address those going through these thoughts, but I want those who are not to understand what it is like to feel this way as well. Its easy to say things will get better. Its easy to say that suicide is stupid or a cowards way out, but unless you have been through the mind set of someone who has though of, or even attempted, suicide it takes more than just words to talk someone from the edge. Imagine sitting in a small room. The room is empty with no windows, it is brightly lit with bright white walls. Music starts to play, soft at first, gradually getting louder. Its a classical piece, a piano with high and low, soft and hard notes with various tempos. Suddenly more music plays at the same time, just as loud. This time some hard rock. Then more, some country, also just as loud. and then more, and more until every genre of music is being played at all the same very loud volume level. The suppose you are told to pick out the names of each of the songs being played. When you close your eyes the music stops. When your eyes are open it plays again. The only way to get it to stop permanently is to either figure out all the songs or to keep your eyes closed forever. Change the music to emotions and that is what it is like for someone going through depression and thinking of suicide. But there is a third option to stopping the bombardment. That option is help. It is not shameful to ask for help. We all need a support system and help in our daily lives to help make sense of our emotions. I urge anyone who is either considering taking their life or know someone who is to reach out to someone for help. There are resources all over the world that offer free and anonymous help for the prevention of suicide. A link to such resource is here at International Association of Suicide Prevention. For those here in the united states there is The Trevor Project. I have been in your shoes. I have made it through. And I am here to help you too. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Random Acts Of Kindness Day

For those of you who don't know, today is Random Acts of Kindness Day. When I first of this I was skeptical as most of you may be now. I thought to myself, why would we need a special day for that, shouldn't that be everyday? Upon reflection, however, I thought what a cool day today could be. Sometimes it is only when we draw attention to something do others stand up and take notice. So by declaring a specific day to be the day of random acts of kindness, people will become aware of the acts of kindness being done around them. They may even decide to participate. Then go on and vow to do more through out the year as well. So now I can see why we have a special day for it, but the big question is, what will I do to take part? Of course if I plan it, it won't be so random, so I will just have to wait and see what opportunities arise. I have often been accused of being rather random at times, so this should be no problem. Some ideas for those who are trying to come up with some are: If you go to the store, let someone in front of you in line or offer to help load their bags. If at the gas station, offer to pump their gas or buy a gallon for someone. Pick some wild flowers and give them to random people as you walk past them. Give a compliment to a complete stranger. You see, Random Acts of Kindness goes by another name many people forget. Its called Common Courtesy. What things will you (or have you if you read this late) do? Comment below. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

PS Some have said that they could not post on my blog. It seems you have to preview your comments and post from the preview. If you still have problems, let me know.

Just One Of Those Days

You ever have one of those days that within an hour of getting up, you regret getting out of bed? Yeah, me too. Today is one of them. Seems nothing is going right so far today. Woke up to a shelf unit collapsing, knocking over a side table, stubbing my toe and spilling water everywhere trying to make coffee. So how do you handle days like that? What I usually end up doing is first, swear a lot, then, go find my happy place. For me, that is sitting here, at the computer, typing away, sipping my finally made coffee and wondering where to begin in cleaning up the mess around me. I am fighting the urge to crawl back into bed and just pull the covers over my head until the do over fairy comes, but, yeah, that's not gonna happen. Now that my coffee is done I guess I should get to work so today's post is short, but would love to hear what you would so with a day like this. Leave your comments below. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Another Tale From The Front Desk

This tale is one that did not happen to me personally, but rather to a close friend of mine. Working at hotel front desk, as with any late night job, is not without its risks, as you will see. One evening I am working at crunching my numbers when I get a call from one of our sister properties. I knew my friend was working so I answered, "Hey bud, whats up?" On the other end all I hear is a loud roar of laughter from what sounds like a group of people. "Hellooo?" I say and finally my friend stops laughing enough to say hello back. He tells me the story, "You are not going to believe what just happened to me. I was working here at the desk when the doors opened. I looked up and there was a man with a mask stand inside the door, but he would not come any closer than the door. I asked him if I could help him and he pulled out a knife and tried to rob me." I was shocked. "Oh no! You must be okay, you are laughing. Why are you laughing anyway?"  He continues with the story, "When he pulled out the knife I could see it was a butter knife. You know, the kind with the tiny dull blade. So I told him to get the hell out of here. He threw the knife at me and it hit the wall about 10 feet from me. When he turned to run away, the cops were pulling in to patrol the parking lot. He ran right into their car. The cops are here still laughing at out clumsy this guy was." After sharing in their enjoyment I hung up, shook my head and went back to work thinking to myself this was yet another story no one else would believe. Hope you enjoyed the tale. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Romance On A Budget

One of the biggest misconceptions with today's holiday, Valentine's Day, is that you have to spend large amounts of money to show your love and appreciation for someone. Not true. Some of the biggest ways to say "I Love You" cost little to nothing at all. So if you find yourself scrambling to find that last minute display of affection and find your wallet a little light, here are some ideas to help you through.

1. Write a love letter. In this modern day of technology, most have forgotten the art of putting pen to paper. Spend some time putting your appreciation into a letter. Detail all the things that you find endearing in the other person. It doesn't have to be sappy, just as long as it comes from the heart.
2. Take a walk holding hands. In our busy daily lives, sometimes we forget to just slow down and enjoy each others company. Go for a walk in the neighborhood, park, mall, beach, or where ever you may like, and hold the hand of your loved one as you do. Its the intimacy that is the gift.
3. Leave little notes everywhere. Try leaving little bits of paper expressing your love all over the house. Write "I Love You" on the mirror in the bathroom. Put cut out hearts in obvious places.
4. Cuddle. Spend some quality time just holding each other. Not to be confused with sexual cuddling, but simply being there for the other person to enjoy.
5. Cook a favorite meal. You are going to eat anyway, so make it a special meal by making the other person's favorite dishes, or recreating the first meal together.
6. Create a video. Create a video message for the other person telling them why you love them. Make it something they will cherish. Burn it to a CD and create a special unique envelope to put it in.
7. Sing a song. Sing them their favorite love song. If you can't sing, lip sync.
8. Create a photo. Pick a romantic setting and arrange flowers or place a sign spelling both names with a heart. Take a photo and make it their background image, or print it out and frame it.
9. Go out for a cup of coffee. It does not take an expensive meal to go out, enjoy each other's company and simply talk and listen to each other.
10. Say "I Love You" every time you see him/her. Each time you are apart for more than a few moments, when you see each other again, say "I Love You". Try learning how to say it in many languages to make it even more fun.

I hope this helps some of you get some ideas for sharing your love with someone. And remember, love is always, not just Valentine's Day. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Recipe: Biscuit Wrapped Meatballs

Having a party or get together and not a lot of time to prepare some finger foods? Here is one of my favorite quick, semi-homemade recipes that is sure to please. Biscuit Wrapped Meatballs. What you will need is:

1 bag of pre-made, pre-cooked frozen meatballs
2 tubes of the large size biscuits (like Pillsbury's Grands)
1/2 cup of your favorite BBQ or marinara sauce
1/2 cup shredded cheese (I find Cheddar for BBQ or Mozzarella for marinara works best)
pinch of Italian Seasoning

Directions:
Open up the tube of biscuits and separate each one. Cut each biscuit in half and press and flatten each half into a round flat shape. Place a small amount of the sauce and cheese in the middle, then place the meatball on top. Wrap the dough completely around the meatball pinching the folds closed. Be sure and not add too much sauce as this will prevent the dough from sticking together while trying to wrap them. Place each ball on a greased cookie sheet about 1 inch apart. sprinkle the top with Italian seasoning (or with more cheese for BBQ balls) and bake in a pre-heated 350 degree oven for about 12-15 minutes, or until golden brown). Serve with additional sauce for dipping.

Hope you try this recipe and enjoy at your next gathering. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

What I Find Sexy

I am often asked what I find sexy or what I am attracted to in another man. I often dread this question as there are so many things that catch my eye. After careful consideration, I have finally made a list of the top 5 things that attract my attention.

1. Eyes. I love a set of eyes that are expressive, smoldering and are honest. Color is of no importance, as long as they are true windows to the soul.      

2. Sensitivity and Compassion. Its sexy as all hell when a man worries about the feelings of others.

3. Legs. I know, superficial, and not really important, but I love a little fur on legs. 

4. Honesty. Nothing can make an attractive man turn ugly like a lie. 

5. Intelligence. I am not saying he has to be a rocket scientist or anything. But at least have a passion for learning and sharing ideas.

Well that is my top five things I notice first in another guy. How does this list compare to yours? Share you list with me below in the comments. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Something To Think About This Valentine's Day

First a little history of Valentine's Day. Catholic and Protestant churches have nearly identical accounts of the story of Valentine. Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Now here is the thing to ponder. Today, men and women are still being denied the rights of marriage. No debate has been so heated in our nation's modern times as the debate of gays right to marriage. When (not if, but when) marriage equality does happen, will their ever be a holiday to celebrate this milestone? And how about the hypocrisy of those who deny these rights in the name of the Church? Yet this is the same church that sainted someone who defied the orders of the ruling government and church to perform illegal marriages. So instead of sending cards and chocolates to someone, how about sending a Valentine Card to your government officials to tell them its time to stop the hate and discrimination, and instead, spread the love. There is no better day to do this. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Beg Your Pardon, Your Ignorance Is Showing.

I get so tired of seeing blatant lies and misleading information being passed around on social media as shocking information or news. However, as tired as I am of those, I get even more tired of the lazy ignorant souls that keep forwarding these items. Wake up folks. People will lie just to get a reaction. They are called trolls. There is no excuse whatsoever to not know this. In just as much time as it takes you to click share, you can check the validity of these articles yourself. With websites like Snopes, about urban legends, and vmyths there is no excuse for not checking the validity of a story or article before you pass it on. If you share these stories and they turn out to be false, then not only are you showing your ignorance, but doing a part in the dumbing down those around you. It takes just a few seconds and I will show you how.

Step 1. You find a friend has posted a story and it seems important so you read it and decide it may be worth sharing. For this example we will use the "Facebook Guidelines Hoax"

 Step 2. Highlight the first sentence of the story, copy it, and paste it in Google.

Step 3. The first several options will be to sites that test the validity of a post. Pick one.

Step 4. You have successfully found a hoax. The next step is to inform the person you got the story from and to STOP THE SPREAD OF CRAP!

I hope this post has enlightened, educated, or at the very least, humored. If you know someone who is continually posting crap like these, feel free to send a link to this post and educate them. This one is passable. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Top Ten Crazy Things Guests Ask A Disneyland Cast Member

The last two days posts have been kind of lite and I felt you all deserved a little more so I bring you some humor with another top ten list. I am sure some of my old Cast Mates will be able to add some that I forget, but I bring you: The Top Ten Crazy Things Guests Ask A Disneyland Cast Member.

10.  Will you watch my kids? Yes, we get asked this. For some reason people seem to think that any cast member is a paid babysitter too. The answer. No.
9.    How do we get to Epcot from here? Uhm, you take the I-10 East for 2500 miles to Orlando.
8.    Where can we find Shrek/Snoopy/Spongebob? This is Disneyland, not Animationland. Those are not Disney Characters.
7.   Why is it so busy? This is usually asked on the 4th of July. This question always amazed me as people actually would think that when they were on vacation, the rest of the vacationing world went somewhere else.
6.    Are the fireworks in the sky? Yes, as underground fireworks are not so popular.
5.    When is the 3:00 parade? Seriously. This is not only an actual question, but a daily one. Uhm 3:00.
4.    Is Walt Disney's head really frozen under the castle? The answer, No. But I would tell people "Yes and we have to place offerings in front of it each day."
3.   Why can't you do anything about the heat/rain/cold/wind/etc? As of yet, Disney does not control the weather, but I am sure it is just a matter of time.
2.    Do you work here? Its not hard to pick out a cast member. The costumes are not what one would call mainstream or contemporary. If I am standing there wearing something with Mickey all over it, a name tag and in a location where there are 10 or more people wearing the same thing, then chances are, I do.
And the craziest?
1.    Can you get me free tickets? I would get this question everyday at least a dozen times. I don't even know you so why would I do that? Will you give me free gas/food/meds er whatever it is you do? I doubt it!

Anyway, these are just a few of the daily questions we would get asked, there are thousands more I am sure, and if any want to add to the list feel free to do so. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

I'm A Happy Coffee Addict!

My sister just sent me a new coffee. Caffeine Explosion! I can't wait to try it! I don't have a WinCo Foods near where I live and they seem to have the best seasonal coffees. Luckily I have a sister who feeds my coffee addiction by sending me some! So far she has sent me: Chocolate Covered Banana, Chocolate Bunny, Eggnog, Caramel Brulee, Rum Vanilla, Gingerbread, Peppermint Cream and Caffeine Explosion. And each one has been just as good if not better than the first! If you are fortunate to live near a WinCo, you need to check out their selections. I also love to experiment with the flavors trying them hot, iced, mixed with coffee liqueurs, and no matter how I make it, it is delicious! So thanks Michele! If you guys know of any other good sources of coffee, let me know, but keep in mind, I have caviar taste and a paper plate budget. lol. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

An Off Day

Its been one of those days. You know the ones. Experienced the full range of emotions. I am sitting here trying to come up with what event I should write about, but I am just not in the mood. I could just not write anything, but I made the promise to myself to get at least one post on here every day so, here is my post to post that the post will not post as usual tonight. After I recover I might post something later, but in case I don't, I will see you all tomorrow. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Who Is Your Celebrity Crush?

I think we all have crushes on one or more celebrities. Someone who we would never have a chance at and even if we did, we would faint before anything happened anyway. Here are a few of mine. Don't judge me. lol. 

Ben Browder. I first came across Ben while watching Farscape with my ex. There is just something about the mixture of his sexy voice, his gorgeous eyes and rugged manliness. Then when he guest starred on Dr Who in "A Town Called Mercy", I drooled the entire episode!

George Eads. Do they come any sexier? I don't think so! There is something about his mannerisms and the way he carries himself you just know this hunk is a passionate and intense lover!

Mike O'Malley. ever since first catching sight of Mike on Yes Dear, I have had a bit of a crush on him. Here is a guy that I can picture doing anything a rugged, masculine man's man can do, then turn around and be the best cuddler in the world.

Well there is a few of my Celebrity crushes. Probably not what you expected, but you should know by now, you never know what to expect from me. haha. Who are some of your crushes? Leave comments below and see if anyone agrees with you. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

What My Sign Says About Me.

Whether you believe in horoscopes or not, everyone knows their sign and has been guilty of at least once looking up to see what it says about them. I came across a blog yesterday that had some pretty fascinating and quite spot on postings about my sign, Scorpio. Here are a few of my favorite and more accurate ones I found.

These are just a few of the ones that stood out most to me and seem to describe me pretty darn well. If you would like to check out Zodiac Society, click here and see what they say about your sign. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Another Tale From The Front Desk

Time for another story from my hotel days. The hotel I worked in offered to bed choices. A room with one King or two Queens. Whenever someone would come in without a reservation, the first question, of course, was what room type they needed. On this night I had two older gentlemen come in and ask for a room. I instinctively asked, "One king or two queens?" To which they reply was. "Two queens but a king will do." as the other giggled. It took me a second to understand then had to have blushed when I finally caught the joke. After checking them in and giving them their key they asked if the rooms came with VCRs to which I replied yes. A little while later they call down to the desk and tell me their VCR is not working, so I tell them I will be there soon. When I get to the room they tell me they have a tape in the machine but nothing is coming on the screen, so I enter the room. Both men are only wearing towels but I act as if I don't notice and continue to the TV. It doesn't take me long to realize that the aux cable from the VCR to the TV is unplugged, so I plug it back in and press play to make sure it works. Up on the screen pops up a hardcore gay porno. Again, I remain professional and pretend no to notice. As I move to leave the room I tell them they should be all set and to enjoy. They both try to stop me and tell me that I am welcome to stay and watch with them. I must have at that point been 100 shades of red as I politely declined the offer, left and ran to the safety of the front desk. Have any of you ever been so blatantly hit on like that? Or how about done the hitting on yourself? Leave comments about it down below. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Top Ten Things Not To Say On A First Date

If Dave can do them, so can I. Although some are funny, these will be actual experiences though.  I bring you my first Top Ten list with: Top Ten Things Not To Say On A First Date!

• 10. My ex and I split because he was always nagging me to get a job and help pay for things. 
• 9. Considering your size, you are pretty cute.
• 8. My boyfriend is going to love you.
• 7. Sorry I'm late. My first date took longer then I expected.
• 6. Is it ok to stay at your place tonight? I am kinda of without a place right now.
• 5. I don't know what it is, but I always end up cheating on my boyfriends.
• 4. Will you carry me on your shoulders?
• 3. I thought you would be good for at least sex, but turns out you are a pretty nice guy too.
• 2. Wow, you really don't eat as much as I thought you would.
• 1. You're better then my real dad.

There you go, the top terrible things I have heard on a first date. What are somethings you guys have heard? Leave a comment and let me know. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

Stalkers And Creepers

So I had a rather scary experience this past week involving a stalker turned creeper. It all started with a simple "hello". I know that by putting myself out there with this blog and the use of social media sites that I run the risk of attracting the attention of a stalker or two, but, to be honest, who doesn't. Most turn out to be harmless shy folks who just need to work on their interpersonal skills. But this one turned out to be quite a bit more then that. I, as a rule of thumb, would usually respond to any and all messages. That's just the type of person I am. I was raised that it was polite to respond when someone is talking to you. So it started last week with me getting a message from someone that said hello. So I responded with a hello back. No big whoop. Right away I was asked if I was single. I explained I was dating someone. So this person asked if we could be friends, so I said sure. Who turns away a potential friend? This person mentioned they would be in my area in a few days and asked if we could meet. I said sure, and mentioned a public place we could meet at. I know enough to never meet anyone for the first time at your home. Over the course of a few days, I noticed the questions being asked of me were getting rather personal but the questions I was asking were getting overlooked and unanswered. It began to creep me out so I told this person I needed to cancel meeting them for coffee. This statement was ignored. And on top of that this person began calling me by rather intimate terms of endearment. So again I said I was canceling on them. And again it went unnoticed. So I did what we are all taught to do. I blocked this person. That's when is really began getting scary. First came an email (I am still not sure how it made it through the block) quite angry with me for blocking and for ruining this persons trip out to see me. Wait! What? The trip was supposed to see family, not me! The email went on to say what a bad person I was for destroying our relationship and dumping this person right before the trip. Again, what!? Relationship? That's when I began to see just how creepy this person was. So again, I blocked. Then messages began coming in on other websites. First telling that it is all a big misunderstanding and to please reply. Then getting angry again and telling me how horrible I am. So I block on those sites too. Not to mention reporting for harassment. Then comes yet another email. This one says that the internet is to blame and that when this person arrives, we WILL meet, and once we do I WILL be made to love this person as much as they love me. Correct me if I am wrong, but don't we hear stories like this whenever a body is found in the Angeles National Forest? Then the phone calls start. At this point I am now officially beyond creeped out. I make copies of all the messages and conversations. I tell my friends to check up on me. I lock myself up in my place afraid to leave the house. As of now, there has been no other attempts to contact. So why am I telling you all this?  I am telling you all this for a few reasons. First, to inform you all that there are people out there like this. Does this mean you have to be distrustful of everyone? No. Just look for the warning signs early on. Save copies of conversations. Let others know what you are doing and who you are talking to. And above all else, never give out personal information to anyone! Secondly, I am telling you this because I have learned a valuable lesson here. At first I thought that I would have to change who I was to protect myself better. Not true. I can still be the friendly and respectful person I was before, I just protect myself a little better from now on. I will still answer a hello. Am I afraid this will encourage more contact from the creeper? No. Because I am now ready to take it to law enforcement if this person tries again and will not hesitate to press charges. If anyone else has had issues like this and are willing to discuss them with me, please leave a message so that our experiences may help others. Love, and caution, to all.

Burly Bear Chris

What I Hate The Most

I try and keep things up beat on here, but there is something I need to get off my chest. The thing I hate the most in this world are liars. I know, "hate" is a pretty strong word. But I am well aware of its meaning and implications. I honestly and vehemently hate liars. I know what you are going to say. "What about little white lies?" Yes, I hate them too. A lie is a completely selfish thing. The only one that benefits from it is the teller. It sends the message to the receiver that they are not worth the effort of telling the truth. And how are you supposed to trust a liar? The foundation of any relationship, be it friendship, love or professional, is trust. If that foundation slips due to crack in the trust brought forth by lies, how is the relationship supposed to stand?  And heaven forbid someone is caught in a lie. Then suddenly it is the receiver causing drama. Drama that could have been avoided if the truth was told from the beginning.
Now I hear time and time again that little white lies are okay because you are sparing the other persons feelings. Are you really? The truth will come out eventually and shouldn't that come from someone trusted rather than a stranger? "Do I look good wearing this?" Option 1 "No, you look hideous." Truthful, but a bit harsh. Option 2 "You look great!" A lie and it makes the other feel good, that is, until the stranger on the street says, "OMG did you see all the fat rolls sticking out of that thing?" loud enough for everyone to hear and the wearer wondering why no one said how bad it looked to them. Or Option 3 "That might not be the best look on you, lets keep looking." Honest, not hurtful and sensitive. See there are ways of avoiding the white lie. And who decides when a lie is white or not? The term "white lie" was invented by liars so they could feel less guilt about them. Big or small, a lie still hurts
Once a lie is uncovered, and lets face it, they all get uncovered eventually, that trust built between two people is now gone and can never be like it was. Yes, given time some trust may be regained, but it will never be the same. Once your faith in someone is shaken, it is very difficult to get it back. It is far better to hear something you don't want  to hear then it is to later hear it AND lose trust in someone too. Even if the truth is that its time to end the relationship, it is better to be honest then to destroy another person in the process. Even in the end, if you lie about the cause, those lies will continue to haunt the other person and shape how they view themselves as they are forced to do that alone. Sometimes the cause of the end is simply the discovery of previous lies.
It never seems to fail that when I hear someone say, "Oh they were just too much drama." and I delve deeper into looking at the causes, it turns out the real reason was that the truth about something had come out. Its always the liar who creates the drama and places the blame for it on the other person. Liars like to build these perfect little worlds made of glass all around them, and when it comes crashing down around them, they blame everyone but the real culprit. Themselves. All the drama, all the mistrust all the hurt can be avoided simply by taking the time to tell the truth without being hurtful. So yeah, sorry for the long post tonight. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris

I Wish I Could....Inspire

The purpose of this blog is not only to put my thoughts and opinions out for the world to see, but to inspire others to do the same. I want to get people to read my thoughts and formulate their own. Even if its not the same as mine, its good to think, contemplate and comment. I also hope to show that its okay for people to be who they are. Don't hide what makes you different but to feature it. Its those things that make us different that makes life interesting. Imagine if we were all the same. There would be no need for conversation. No need for entertainment. No need for choices. How dreary would that be? I also want to inspire others to bring up topics are their own. Comment to be something you would like to get my opinion on. I look forward to seeing and reading all your ideas. Love to all.

Burly Bear Chris